The bar charts below give information about the railway system in six cities in Europe.
Sample Response
The given two bar graph illustrate data about kilometres of route and passengers travelling per year in six different cities (Paris, Stockholm, Lisbon, Rome, Madrid and Berlin) in Europe between 1863 to 2001.
Overall, it can be identified that the majority of the train routes are located in Paris, Stockholm, Lisbon and Rome. However, travellers travelled most in Lisbon and Stockholm routes.
It is interesting to note that in 1863, the length of rail lines in Paris is 394 kilometres and the number of passengers travelled in that route is 775 million. Similarly, in 1900, the train line in Stockholm (199 kilometres), which is half of the Paris route whereas the number of passengers travelling, rose significantly in this area to 1191 million. In 1927, the railed pathway of Lisbon is 155 kilometres, while the figure of individuals who visited this place jumped to 1927 million.
The rail lane of Rome is 126 kilometres, but the journey made by the people in this place is just 144 million. In 1981, Madrid rail length was merely 11 kilometre which is negligible and lesser people travel in this way is 45 million. Likewise, in 2001, the railway route of berlin is 28km, and only 50 million passengers travelled on this route.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: graph Suggested revision: graphs Why it matters: The plural determiner requires a plural count noun.
- 2. Use natural measure Original: kilometres of route Suggested revision: route length in kilometres Why it matters: This is the conventional way to name the measure shown in the chart.
- 3. Clarify opening years Original: in Europe between 1863 to 2001 Suggested revision: in Europe, with their systems opening between 1863 and 2001 Why it matters: The years indicate when the railway systems opened, rather than a reporting period.
- 4. Link date accurately Original: in 1863, the length of rail lines in Paris is Suggested revision: Paris's system, opened in 1863, has a route length of Why it matters: The date is the system's opening year and should not be presented as the year of measurement.
- 5. Correct passenger phrase Original: passengers travelled in that route Suggested revision: passengers travelling on that route annually Why it matters: Passengers travel on a route, and the chart reports an annual total.
- 6. Use chart term Original: rail lane Suggested revision: railway route Why it matters: Railway route accurately describes the network measure shown.
- 7. Name the measure Original: journey made by the people in this place is just Suggested revision: annual passenger total for this system is only Why it matters: The chart gives passenger numbers rather than a count of journeys or visitors to a place.
- 8. Separate opening year Original: In 1981, Madrid rail length was Suggested revision: Madrid's railway, opened in 1981, had a route length of Why it matters: This wording correctly identifies 1981 as the opening year.
- 9. Use plural unit Original: kilometre Suggested revision: kilometres Why it matters: A quantity greater than one requires the plural unit.
- 10. Make exact comparison Original: which is negligible Suggested revision: which is the shortest of the six Why it matters: The chart supports a precise ranking, whereas negligible is an unsupported judgement.
- 11. Use fewer passengers Original: lesser people Suggested revision: fewer passengers Why it matters: Fewer is required with a countable plural noun.
- 12. Repair clause grammar Original: travel in this way is Suggested revision: used this system, at Why it matters: The replacement creates a grammatical clause and names the railway system clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- graph graphs
- kilometres of route route length in kilometres
- in Europe between 1863 to 2001 in Europe, with their systems opening between 1863 and 2001
- in 1863, the length of rail lines in Paris is Paris's system, opened in 1863, has a route length of
- passengers travelled in that route passengers travelling on that route annually
- rail lane railway route
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest feature is its inclusion of figures for all six cities, with generally clear paragraphing and an attempt to compare extremes. Its main limitation is that the opening years are repeatedly presented as observation dates, while the overview gives only a vague account of route length. The highest-priority improvement is to interpret each chart category correctly and state the clearest overall contrasts, especially Paris's longest network and Lisbon's highest passenger total.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers both charts and reports most figures accurately, but it misinterprets the opening years and gives an imprecise overview of route-length patterns.
Describe the years as the systems' opening dates and make the overview identify the longest and shortest networks as well as the busiest and least-used systems.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and two detail paragraphs create a recognizable structure, although progression within several long sentences is weakened by faulty clause connections.
Group cities by clear comparative features and use complete sentences with simpler links between each figure and its comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe railway data and differences, but frequent awkward choices such as “railed pathway” and “visited this place” reduce precision.
Use consistent data-reporting terms such as “rail network,” “route length,” and “annual passengers” instead of forcing inaccurate synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent agreement, tense, article, and sentence-structure errors make several comparisons cumbersome.
Prioritize accurate subject-verb agreement and past-tense reporting, then separate run-on or incomplete comparative clauses into controlled sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar charts below give information about the railway system in six cities in Europe.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.