The charts below show the figure for work hours per week in the industrial sector in four European countries in 2020.
Sample Response
The yielded bar charts illustrate the percentage of week wise hours in the commercial side in four European countries, namely France, Denmark, Sweden, the UK.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that 30 to 40 hours works had the highest percentage whereas, over 50 and 1 to 14 had the least in all given countries.
For France, nearly a quarter proportion of workers work 1 to 30 hours although, 31 to 35 hours job percentage was a half. Only 12% less jober did 36 to 40 hours. Above 41 hours proportion was same as 1 to 14 had except 46 to 50 which had one-fifth percentage. For Denmark, 21% of citizens worked 31 to 35 hours while 36 to 40 hours had 70%. The rest of hours workers proportion was the same, its 10%.
For Sweden, only 3% of people did 1 to 14 hours work which rose slightly as hours rose. With the zenith, four-fifth percentage of jober had 36 to 40 hours job. 41 to 45 and 46 to 50+ had 22% and 5% respectively.
For the UK, for 1 to 35 hours, workers proportion was roughly 10%. It had the same percentage of workers in 36 to 40 hours as France had in 31 to 35. Additionally, 15% was in 41 to 45 whereas, for 46 to 50+ proportion remained same.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct chart wording Original: The yielded Suggested revision: The Why it matters: “Yielded” does not naturally describe charts that present data.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: week wise hours Suggested revision: weekly working hours Why it matters: This compound expression is not idiomatic English.
- 3. Name the sector accurately Original: commercial side Suggested revision: industrial sector Why it matters: The visual concerns industrial workers rather than commerce generally.
- 4. Correct the noun phrase Original: 30 to 40 hours works Suggested revision: 31 to 40 working hours Why it matters: “Works” is ungrammatical here, and the relevant chart bands begin at 31 hours.
- 5. Correct the lowest groups Original: whereas, over 50 and 1 to 14 had the least in all given countries Suggested revision: while the lowest proportions varied across the four countries Why it matters: The least common working-hour bands are not the same in every country.
- 6. Correct the French total Original: nearly a quarter proportion of workers work 1 to 30 hours Suggested revision: about 37% of workers worked 1 to 30 hours Why it matters: The three French bands from 1 to 30 hours total roughly 37%, not about one quarter.
- 7. Use the correct linker Original: although, Suggested revision: , while Why it matters: “While” correctly contrasts the two proportions without an incorrect following comma.
- 8. Repair the noun phrase Original: 31 to 35 hours job percentage Suggested revision: the percentage working 31 to 35 hours Why it matters: The original sequence of nouns is not grammatically formed.
- 9. Report the percentage directly Original: was a half Suggested revision: was 50% Why it matters: A direct percentage is clearer and more precise in a data report.
- 10. Correct the Danish figure Original: 21% of citizens worked 31 to 35 hours Suggested revision: about 25% of workers worked 31 to 35 hours Why it matters: The Denmark chart shows approximately 25%, and the measured group is workers.
- 11. Clarify the French bands Original: Above 41 hours proportion was same as 1 to 14 had except 46 to 50 which had one-fifth percentage Suggested revision: The 41–45 and 50+ bands were both 10%, while the 46–50 band was 20% Why it matters: This revision states the three separate French categories accurately and clearly.
- 12. Use a natural peak phrase Original: With the zenith Suggested revision: At the peak Why it matters: “With the zenith” is not an idiomatic way to introduce the highest value.
Suggested Rewrites
- The yielded The
- week wise hours weekly working hours
- commercial side industrial sector
- 30 to 40 hours works 31 to 40 working hours
- whereas, over 50 and 1 to 14 had the least in all given countries while the lowest proportions varied across the four countries
- nearly a quarter proportion of workers work 1 to 30 hours about 37% of workers worked 1 to 30 hours
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is strongest when it organizes the figures by country and identifies the dominant 31–40-hour ranges. However, several figures are inaccurate or unclear, especially for France and Sweden, and frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to verify each value against the charts and express comparisons in simple, accurate sentences with correct nouns, articles, and verb forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and coverage of all four countries address the task, but several figures and grouped ranges are inaccurate or ambiguous.
Report each hours band separately where needed, correcting Sweden’s 1–14 and 41–45 figures and France’s 36–40 figure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Country-based paragraphing provides a broadly logical progression, although some comparisons and references are difficult to follow.
Use a consistent pattern for each country and connect comparisons with precise references rather than vague phrases such as 'it had'.
Lexical Resource
The response uses relevant chart vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices such as 'jober', 'commercial side', and 'zenith' reduce accuracy.
Prefer standard terms such as 'workers', 'industrial sector', 'proportion', and 'highest figure' throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, punctuation, and clause structure weaken control.
Build complete comparison sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check plural forms and articles systematically.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the figure for work hours per week in the industrial sector in four European countries in 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.