The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people in five different European countries using the internet in 2000, while the pie chart shows the average amount of money spent shopping online.
Overall, Sweden and the UK were the two countries with the greatest percentage of internet users, and also the two countries with the highest average online shopping expenses. Furthermore, Spain had the fewest internet users and the lowest average spending on internet shopping.
In 2000, 35% of the Swedish population used the internet, while 20% of Brits were also internet users. Only 5% of people in Spain used the internet, which was half of the figure for France (10%), and one-third of the figure for Germany (15%).
British internet users had the highest average shopping expenses online, at €87, followed by the Swedes, at €76. The French and Germans had similar average internet budgets, at €57 and €46 respectively, while the Spanish only spent a mere average of €10 on online shopping.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural percentages Original: the greatest percentage of internet users Suggested revision: the highest percentages of internet users Why it matters: Two countries have separate percentages, so the plural form is needed.
- 2. Use precise spending term Original: highest average online shopping expenses Suggested revision: highest average online spending per person Why it matters: This wording states the per-person measure shown in the chart more precisely.
- 3. Use formal country reference Original: Brits Suggested revision: people in the UK Why it matters: This is a more formal label for an academic report.
- 4. Use concise verb Original: were also internet users Suggested revision: used the internet Why it matters: The direct verb avoids an unnecessarily wordy construction.
- 5. Use neutral population label Original: the Swedes Suggested revision: users in Sweden Why it matters: This wording refers more precisely to the group represented by the spending figure.
- 6. Report spending accurately Original: internet budgets Suggested revision: online shopping expenditure Why it matters: The visual measures money spent, not the size of a budget.
- 7. Remove redundant emphasis Original: the Spanish only spent a mere average of €10 Suggested revision: people in Spain spent an average of just €10 Why it matters: Using both “only” and “mere” is redundant, and the revised subject is more precise.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people in five different European countries using the internet in 2000, while the pie chart shows the average amount of money spent shopping online. Suggested revision: The bar chart illustrates internet use in five European countries in 2000, while the pie chart shows average online shopping expenditure per person. Why it matters: The rewrite identifies the per-person basis of the spending data.
- 9. Sharpen the overview Suggested revision: Highlight Sweden’s clear lead in internet use and the UK’s lead in online spending, alongside Spain’s lowest figures. Why it matters: This would make the principal contrasts between the two charts more explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- the greatest percentage of internet users the highest percentages of internet users
- highest average online shopping expenses highest average online spending per person
- Brits people in the UK
- were also internet users used the internet
- the Swedes users in Sweden
- internet budgets online shopping expenditure
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, accurate overview and reports every figure with well-chosen comparisons, making its task coverage the strongest feature. Its main limitation is a small amount of awkward wording, particularly ‘internet budgets’ and ‘shopping expenses online,’ which slightly reduces lexical precision. The highest-priority improvement is to use more natural collocations for online expenditure while preserving the concise, well-organised structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies both extremes, and all figures from both charts are reported accurately with relevant comparisons.
Refine the overview by stating even more directly that Sweden led internet use while the UK led spending.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to separate, clearly focused paragraphs for internet use and online spending.
Strengthen the cross-chart synthesis by linking the Sweden–UK comparison across both datasets more explicitly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though phrases such as ‘internet budgets’ and ‘shopping expenses online’ are slightly unnatural.
Use more idiomatic collocations such as ‘average online expenditure’ and ‘spending on online shopping.’
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex sentences is used with strong control and virtually no grammatical errors.
Maintain this accuracy while varying comparative structures to make the description still more flexible.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.