The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people in five different European countries using the internet in 2000, while the pie chart shows the average amount of money spent shopping online.
Overall, Sweden and the UK were the two countries with the highest percentages of internet usersthe greatest percentage of internet users, and also the two countries with the highest average online spending per personhighest average online shopping expenses. Furthermore, Spain had the fewest internet users and the lowest average spending on internet shopping.
In 2000, 35% of the Swedish population used the internet, while 20% of people in the UKBrits used the internetwere also internet users. Only 5% of people in Spain used the internet, which was half of the figure for France (10%), and one-third of the figure for Germany (15%).
British internet users had the highest average shopping expenses online, at €87, followed by users in Swedenthe Swedes, at €76. The French and Germans had similar average online shopping expenditureinternet budgets, at €57 and €46 respectively, while people in Spain spent an average of just €10the Spanish only spent a mere average of €10 on online shopping.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, accurate overview and reports every figure with well-chosen comparisons, making its task coverage the strongest feature. Its main limitation is a small amount of awkward wording, particularly ‘internet budgets’ and ‘shopping expenses online,’ which slightly reduces lexical precision. The highest-priority improvement is to use more natural collocations for online expenditure while preserving the concise, well-organised structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies both extremes, and all figures from both charts are reported accurately with relevant comparisons.
Refine the overview by stating even more directly that Sweden led internet use while the UK led spending.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to separate, clearly focused paragraphs for internet use and online spending.
Strengthen the cross-chart synthesis by linking the Sweden–UK comparison across both datasets more explicitly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though phrases such as ‘internet budgets’ and ‘shopping expenses online’ are slightly unnatural.
Use more idiomatic collocations such as ‘average online expenditure’ and ‘spending on online shopping.’
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex sentences is used with strong control and virtually no grammatical errors.
Maintain this accuracy while varying comparative structures to make the description still more flexible.