The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.
Sample Response
The figure, consisting of a bar graph and a pie chart, provides related statistics on the Internet usage pattern in five European countries in 2000. Specifically, the former plots the percentages of users among the population while the latter shows individual expenditure on online shopping, measured in euros.
Overall, albeit Sweden ranked first in the proportions of Internet users, the British outspent people from other countries on online shopping. It is also apparent that Spain bottomed both of the lists.
Concerning the bar graph, heading the list was Sweden, with 35% of the population getting access to the Internet. Following this country, in the UK, Germany, France, and Spain, the percentages of Internet users were 20%, 15%, 10%, and 5%.
As for the remaining chart, the UK displaced Sweden (76 euros per person) to end in the first place, with 87 euros being the money each person allocated to online purchases. Shopping expenditure for an individual hovered around half in France (57%) and Germany (46%). Spain was low ranking when its nationals only spared a tenth of their earnings for making orders on the websites.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove vague wording Original: provides related statistics Suggested revision: provides statistics Why it matters: Related adds no specific meaning because the two measures are already identified.
- 2. Use concise terminology Original: Internet usage pattern Suggested revision: Internet use Why it matters: Internet use is the more direct term for the population measure shown.
- 3. Clarify the denominator Original: the percentages of users among the population Suggested revision: the percentages of the population using the Internet Why it matters: The replacement expresses correctly that users form a proportion of each country's population.
- 4. State the measure precisely Original: individual expenditure Suggested revision: average expenditure per person Why it matters: The lower chart reports an average amount per person rather than an unspecified individual total.
- 5. Use a finite conjunction Original: albeit Suggested revision: although Why it matters: Although correctly introduces a finite concessive clause, whereas albeit does not.
- 6. Use singular proportion Original: proportions Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: The sentence refers to Sweden's single population proportion, so the singular form is appropriate.
- 7. Use consistent country reference Original: the British outspent people Suggested revision: people in the UK outspent those Why it matters: The replacement maintains a consistent and precise comparison between countries' residents.
- 8. Use natural ranking language Original: Spain bottomed both of the lists Suggested revision: Spain ranked last in both charts Why it matters: Ranked last is the standard expression for Spain's lowest values.
- 9. Use direct word order Original: heading the list was Sweden Suggested revision: Sweden headed the list Why it matters: Direct subject-verb order makes the ranking statement clearer.
- 10. Match the chart measure Original: getting access to the Internet Suggested revision: using the Internet Why it matters: The chart measures Internet use, so the replacement is more accurate and concise.
- 11. Name the chart Original: remaining Suggested revision: pie Why it matters: Naming the visual explicitly creates a clearer reference than remaining chart.
- 12. Use comparison wording Original: displaced Suggested revision: overtook Why it matters: Overtook is the natural verb for the UK's higher spending figure.
Suggested Rewrites
- provides related statistics provides statistics
- Internet usage pattern Internet use
- the percentages of users among the population the percentages of the population using the Internet
- individual expenditure average expenditure per person
- albeit although
- proportions proportion
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview, covers every country, and organises the two visuals into an easy-to-follow comparison with generally varied language. Its main weakness is data reporting: France and Germany are incorrectly labelled as percentages, while Spain's €10 figure is recast as a share of earnings. Keep every shopping value in euros and use more natural, precise comparative phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The key rankings and Internet-use figures are accurately selected, but three online-shopping values are reported with incorrect units or interpretation.
State that France, Germany and Spain spent €57, €46 and €10 per person respectively, without converting these figures into percentages or earnings shares.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear overview and separate treatment of each visual create logical progression, with comparisons integrated effectively throughout.
Make the final shopping comparison more direct so the paragraph moves cleanly from the highest expenditure to the lowest.
Lexical Resource
The response shows good range, but several ambitious phrases, including 'bottomed both of the lists' and 'spared a tenth of their earnings', are unnatural or inaccurate.
Prefer precise combinations such as 'ranked lowest', 'spent per person' and 'was approximately half the UK figure'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are used with generally strong control, although a few structures are awkward and occasionally obscure the comparison.
Refine concessive and participial constructions so that subjects, comparisons and numerical references remain immediately clear.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.