The chart below shows the average cost of monthly contract for four different mobile (cell phones) in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the average price of monthly plans from four cell phone contractors in a European nation in the first three quarters of 2002.
Overall, there was an increase in the figures for all companies, except for Sim TX whose price remained unchanged over the period shown. In addition, the monthly cost of Alpha’s contract experienced the most remarkable growth.
Alpha originally offered the lowest price in the beginning of 2002 at only 5 euros per month. The price remained relatively stable during the next 5 months before a surge to 25 euros in September, which made Alpha the most expensive contractor examined. Meanwhile, Domo’s users had to pay the highest price for the majority of 2002 as the price rose gradually from January to July, followed by a slight decrease to about 23 euros by September. Similarly, there was gradual growth in the price of Lex’s contract, from approximately 12 euros in January to 17 euros in September.
On the other hand, after peaking at 14 euros in June, the average cost of Sim TX decreased and returned to its original price of 8 euros.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use provider term Original: cell phone contractors Suggested revision: mobile phone providers Why it matters: Companies selling mobile contracts are described as providers, not contractors.
- 2. Use precise comparison Original: most remarkable growth Suggested revision: largest increase Why it matters: 'Largest increase' states the measurable comparison more objectively.
- 3. Fix preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: The fixed time expression is 'at the beginning of'.
- 4. Use concise duration Original: during the next 5 months Suggested revision: over the next five months Why it matters: This phrasing is smoother for describing a trend across consecutive months.
- 5. Show intervening rise Original: before a surge to 25 euros in September Suggested revision: before rising to 10 euros in July, 13 euros in August and 25 euros in September Why it matters: Alpha rose in July and August before reaching 25 euros, rather than making a single direct surge in September.
- 6. Use accurate noun Original: contractor examined Suggested revision: provider shown Why it matters: 'Provider' is the appropriate noun for a mobile phone company in this chart.
- 7. Match shown period Original: for the majority of 2002 Suggested revision: for most of the period shown Why it matters: The chart covers January to September rather than the whole of 2002.
- 8. Reflect fluctuations Original: gradually Suggested revision: overall Why it matters: Domo dipped in April and was flat from May to June, so its rise was not consistently gradual.
- 9. Use consistent measure Original: price Suggested revision: cost Why it matters: 'Cost' aligns more precisely with the measure named in the chart.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Overall, there was an increase in the figures for all companies, except for Sim TX whose price remained unchanged over the period shown. Suggested revision: Overall, monthly costs rose for Domo, Lex and Alpha, while Sim TX finished slightly below its January level. Why it matters: Sim TX fell from about 9 euros in January to 8 euros in September, so it did not remain unchanged.
Suggested Rewrites
- cell phone contractors mobile phone providers
- most remarkable growth largest increase
- in at
- during the next 5 months over the next five months
- before a surge to 25 euros in September before rising to 10 euros in July, 13 euros in August and 25 euros in September
- contractor examined provider shown
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is well organized, fluent, and selective, tracing all four companies with clear comparisons and appropriately chosen figures. The main weakness is minor factual imprecision: Sim TX did not remain unchanged overall, and its September value was slightly below its January level, while Lex ended at about 18 euros. Refine the overview and final values against the chart to make an otherwise strong report fully accurate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report identifies the dominant trends and supports them with well-selected comparisons, but a few endpoint claims for Sim TX and Lex are slightly inaccurate.
Check the January and September values carefully and describe Sim TX as fluctuating before ending slightly lower, with Lex finishing near 18 euros.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, well paragraphed, and cohesively develops the overview through focused company comparisons.
For even tighter progression, group the two steady risers together before contrasting them with the more volatile Alpha and Sim TX lines.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for trends and comparisons, with only occasional less natural choices such as “contractors” for mobile providers.
Use the most natural industry terms, such as mobile providers and contract prices, while preserving the effective range of trend verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are handled with strong control, and the response is virtually error-free throughout.
Maintain this accuracy while refining minor noun-phrase choices, particularly expressions referring to contract costs and providers.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the average cost of monthly contract for four different mobile (cell phones) in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.