The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
Sample Response
The number of men and women who enrolled in coursesenrolled for the course at an adult education centreat adult education institute is illustrated by the given bar chartby given bar chart in the year 2009. Additionally, the pie chart shows the age distribution of course participantsthe ages of enrolled students for the course.
Overall, the majority of people selected language and painting as their mainstream, while sculpture is the least enrolled subject, and data of the ages depicts the most enrolment done by the people who have age more than 50 years. On the other hand, participants aged under 20young people have the lowestleast participation.
First of all, the bar chart shows thatfrom the given graph we can see that the number of women enrolledfemales who are doing a course in languageliterature, painting and drama wasare 40, 30 and 20 respectively, but for sculpture, numbers was 5plunged to only 5. Secondly, the highest number of male candidates enjoying painting, which is 25, besides 20 men studying the language. Further, the number was half as high for both drama and sculpturereduced by half drama and sculpture.
Furthermore, participants aged 50 or oversenior people accounted for 42%almost 42% of all candidates. A quarter of people belong to the age group of 40-49 years and a number varying between 10 to 20 for the age group of 20-39. Only 5% of participants aged under 20Shockingly, only a fraction of young candidates participated in the course.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the main patterns in both charts and follows a sensible progression from course choices to participants' ages. Its main limitation is uneven accuracy and clarity, particularly the mistaken reference to literature and the vague treatment of the 20–39 age groups. The highest-priority improvement is to report each category precisely while using complete, grammatically controlled comparison sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview captures the largest and smallest categories, and most figures are accurate, but language is mislabeled as literature and the 20–39 age data are reported vaguely.
Name every chart category exactly and state the two younger adult proportions separately as 11% and 16%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into a clear introduction, overview, bar-chart paragraph, and age paragraph, though some linking is mechanical and several sentences are difficult to follow.
Use fewer sequencing expressions and connect each comparison directly to a clear subject and reference point.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for describing enrolment and proportions, but several choices and collocations, including mainstream and most enrolment done, are imprecise.
Prefer standard Task 1 wording such as most popular course, accounted for, and participants aged 50 or over.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent article, agreement, and sentence-structure errors reduce clarity in several places.
Build complete clauses with accurate articles and finite verbs, especially when comparing male and female enrolment figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.