The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 5.5–6)

Sample Response

1

The bar graph illustrates the number of people of men and womenfrom both genders who attended different evening courses such as drama, painting, sculpture and languageDrama, Painting, Sculpture and language in the year 2009 at an adult education centre. The pie chart illustrates data on the ages of participants who attended these courses.

2

In 2009, the largest number of women attended language classeswomen loved to attend maximum language courses (40 women) and were least likely to attend sculpture classesvisit sculpture (only 5 womennearly 5 women only), Although men attended painting class nearly 25 in number. In contrast, 30 women attendedwomen are 30 in the same course. However, men attended drama and sculpture classes equally, with 10 men in eachwhich is 10 persons each and men and women attended language and drama classes on an average of 20 each simultaneously.

3

Furthermore, 42% of all participants42 per cent of the total population who attended various courses were aged 50 or overare the age of 50 and above, and only 5% were under 205 % are under 20, and those aged 20–29 accounted for 11%people from 20-29 are 11%, and those aged 30–39 accounted for 16%from the age 40 to 49 are 16%. Lastly, nearly a quarter of the population from 40-49 are attended(26%).

4

Overall, in 2009 older people made up the largest share of participantsmostly older people attended various courses and among themout of this, women most often attendedwomen love to attend language classes; however, painting was the most popular course among menmen visited painting classes most.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

The response covers both visuals and successfully identifies several broad patterns, especially the dominance of older participants and the most popular courses for each gender. However, confused comparisons and mislabelled age groups reduce factual accuracy, while frequent sentence-level errors blur some relationships. First, verify each category and value against the charts, then present the bar and pie findings in separate, clearly controlled sentences.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

5.5
Scoring rule

A relevant overview and several correct key figures are provided, but inaccurate course comparisons and the repeated 40–49 label leave important visual information unclear.

Next step

Correctly identify 30–39 as 16% and 40–49 as 26%, then compare each course by gender without combining unrelated figures.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5
Scoring rule

The four-part structure gives the report a basic progression, but faulty linking, long coordinated sentences, and unclear references disrupt the flow within paragraphs.

Next step

Organize one body paragraph around gender comparisons and one around age groups, using one clear comparison per sentence.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

The vocabulary covers courses, age groups, proportions, and comparisons, but awkward choices such as “loved to attend maximum” and “visited painting classes” limit precision.

Next step

Use neutral chart language such as “the highest number attended” and “was the most popular course” consistently.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.0
Scoring rule

Some varied sentence forms are attempted, but frequent tense, agreement, article, punctuation, and clause-structure errors reduce control and occasionally obscure meaning.

Next step

Keep chart descriptions consistently in the past tense and proofread each sentence for a complete clause and accurate subject-verb agreement.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

Your response

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