The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Expenditure (Pence per person per week) on fast foods, by income groups, UK 1990 Consumption of fast food per person in gram (1970-1990)
Sample Response
The graph shows the average expense of rich, middle-class and low income British on three fast food items, namely - hamburgers, fish & chips and pizza, in 1990 as well as the consumption of these three fast foods between 1970 and 1990.
Overall, affluent British consumed considerably more fast foods than middle and low-income class people, and their spending was higher as well.
As the column graph suggests, rich British ate noticeably more fast foods than the other two income groups in 1990. Their spending was more than twice as much on hamburgers (43 pence per person per week) than on fish and chips and pizza (both under 20 pence per person per week). The average income group alose preferred hamburgers, spending 33 pence, followed by fish and chips (24 pence) and pizza (11 pence). Finally, low-income earners appeared to spend less than other income groups on fast foods. Fish and chips were their favourite fast food item followed by hamburgers and pizza. They spent less than 20 pence per person each week on fish and chips and less than half of that on pizza.
The line graph delineates that fish and chips were twice as popular (300 grammes consumption per person) as hamburgers while the pizza was the least popular (less than 50 grammes consumption). The consumption of hamburgers and pizza increased steadily from 1970 to 1990 while the intake of fish and chips declined over that same period.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: average expense Suggested revision: average spending Why it matters: Spending is the natural term for money paid for food.
- 2. Match chart labels Original: rich, middle-class and low income British Suggested revision: high-income, average-income and low-income Britons Why it matters: These terms describe the three income groups more precisely and use Britons as the noun.
- 3. Use natural noun phrase Original: fast food items Suggested revision: types of fast food Why it matters: Fast food is normally uncountable when referring to the category generally.
- 4. Fix namely punctuation Original: namely - Suggested revision: namely, Why it matters: Namely should be followed by a comma rather than a spaced hyphen.
- 5. Use chart term Original: column graph Suggested revision: bar chart Why it matters: Bar chart is the standard term for this visual.
- 6. Describe spending accurately Original: rich British ate noticeably more fast foods Suggested revision: high-income Britons spent noticeably more on fast food Why it matters: The bar chart measures expenditure, so it does not show how much each income group ate.
- 7. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: average income group Suggested revision: average-income group Why it matters: The compound modifier before group requires a hyphen.
- 8. Correct spelling Original: alose Suggested revision: also Why it matters: This word is misspelled.
- 9. Remove unnecessary hedging Original: appeared to spend less Suggested revision: spent less Why it matters: The chart directly shows lower expenditure, so appeared is unnecessarily tentative.
- 10. Avoid unsupported preference Original: Fish and chips were their favourite fast food item Suggested revision: They spent the most on fish and chips Why it matters: Expenditure can show which item received the most spending but cannot prove personal preference.
- 11. Report precise value Original: less than 20 pence per person each week Suggested revision: about 17 pence per person per week Why it matters: The bar is approximately 17 pence, and per week matches the chart unit.
- 12. Clarify pizza figure Original: less than half of that on pizza Suggested revision: about 7 pence on pizza Why it matters: The approximate value is clearer than the vague reference that.
Suggested Rewrites
- average expense average spending
- rich, middle-class and low income British high-income, average-income and low-income Britons
- fast food items types of fast food
- namely - namely,
- column graph bar chart
- rich British ate noticeably more fast foods high-income Britons spent noticeably more on fast food
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organised and uses a varied vocabulary to describe both visuals, with generally effective comparisons of expenditure across income groups. Its main limitation is Task Achievement: the overview conflates spending with consumption, and the line graph coverage omits major endpoints and changes; prioritise an accurate overview and compare the principal trends, crossovers, and final figures from the consumption graph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response covers both visuals and reports several relevant figures, but its overview inaccurately links income groups to consumption and the line graph's major changes and endpoints are insufficiently developed.
Write a precise overview separating the bar chart from the time series, then support it with the key crossovers and 1990 consumption figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in a clear sequence with effective paragraphing and generally logical progression from overview to expenditure and consumption details.
Make comparisons within the final paragraph more explicit so that the relationship between the three consumption trends is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and usually appropriate, although awkward choices and collocations such as 'average expense,' 'average income group,' and 'grammes consumption' reduce precision.
Use standard chart-reporting collocations such as 'average expenditure,' 'middle-income group,' and 'consumption in grammes per person.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures is used with generally good control, while occasional article, comparison, and noun-phrase errors do not impede meaning.
Improve accuracy in comparative patterns and noun phrases, especially constructions such as 'more than twice as much ... as' and units of consumption.
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