The bar graph below shows the area of forest logged in Southwest region and the table presents the number of forest-dwelling species in the same region.
Sample Response
The given bar graph shows the total area that was logged in the Southern region in four different years and the table shows the number of mammal, bird and amphibian species in this region. A glance at the illustration reveals that login activities in the Southern region increased over the time and the number of species as an effect have decreased. Getting back to the details, 75 thousand acres of forest was cut down in 1990 and it just doubled in 10 years. Finally, in 2010, exactly 225 thousand acres forest was logged down and this was more than thrice the logging area in 1990. The table shows that in 1998 there was 13 mammals, 27 birds and 15 amphibian species in the Southeast forests and this number kept on decreasing over the time. In just four years, 2 mammal species disappeared from the forest and in 10 years 6 mammal species disappeared. The worst case was for birds as in 2008 the number of bird species declined to only 11 from the initial figure 27 in 1998. In the case of amphibians, more than 6 species got lost from the forest in just 10 years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong region Original: Southern region Suggested revision: Southwest region Why it matters: The prompt and visuals refer to the Southwest region.
- 2. Plural categories Original: mammal, bird and amphibian species Suggested revision: mammal, bird, and amphibian species Why it matters: The Oxford comma improves clarity in the list.
- 3. Wrong word Original: login activities Suggested revision: logging activities Why it matters: Login refers to computer access; logging is cutting forest.
- 4. Fixed phrase Original: increased over the time Suggested revision: increased over time Why it matters: The phrase does not need the article.
- 5. Avoid causation Original: as an effect have decreased Suggested revision: declined over the same period Why it matters: The visuals show correlation, but the report should avoid overstating cause.
- 6. Formal signpost Original: Getting back to the details Suggested revision: Looking first at the bar chart Why it matters: This is more formal and clearer.
- 7. Agreement Original: 75 thousand acres of forest was cut down Suggested revision: 75 thousand acres of forest were logged Why it matters: Acres is plural and logged matches the chart language.
- 8. Specific comparison Original: it just doubled in 10 years Suggested revision: this figure doubled to 150 thousand acres by 2000 Why it matters: Adding the value improves data support.
- 9. Missing preposition Original: 225 thousand acres forest Suggested revision: 225 thousand acres of forest Why it matters: Use acres of forest.
- 10. Wrong collocation Original: logged down Suggested revision: logged Why it matters: Forest area is logged, not logged down.
- 11. Plural agreement Original: there was 13 mammals Suggested revision: there were 13 mammal species Why it matters: Use were with plural species.
- 12. Wrong region Original: Southeast forests Suggested revision: Southwest forests Why it matters: The table is for the Southwest.
Suggested Rewrites
- Southern region Southwest region
- mammal, bird and amphibian species mammal, bird, and amphibian species
- login activities logging activities
- increased over the time increased over time
- as an effect have decreased declined over the same period
- Getting back to the details Looking first at the bar chart
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the relationship between increasing logging and declining species numbers and includes most key figures. There are location errors, such as Southern and Southeast instead of Southwest, and some values are described imprecisely.
Keep the strong overview, but use the exact region name and report the species figures without implying causation beyond what the visuals show.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a clear overview and then moves from logged area to species data. It is mostly coherent, but all details are in one long paragraph and some transitions are mechanical.
Separate the bar chart details from the table details, and use a final comparison sentence linking the trends cautiously.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate, but there are several word-choice errors, including login activities, logged down, and got lost. The report sometimes uses casual language.
Use formal data language such as logging, forest area logged, declined, fell, species numbers, and recorded.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but there are errors with articles, subject-verb agreement, plurals, and passive constructions.
Check plural agreement after there were and use of forest area phrases such as acres of forest were logged.