The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. Population in millions Top 5 biggest cities by population (millions) World population in billions
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the population in five metropolitan areas during 1970 and 2010 while the table outlines the top five cities with the highest population. Finally, the line graph compares urban and rural population distribution from 1980 to 2010.
Generally speaking, the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta was faster than that of other cities and Tokyo had the highest residents in 2010. Moreover, a higher number of people started living in urban areas than in rural areas after 2005.
According to the bar graph, more than 15 million people lived in Tokyo in 1970 and that was higher than that of New York and Shanghai. Population in Bombay was one-third than that of Tokyo and Jakarta had only 2.5 million residents, the least among the five cities. The population in Tokyo increased to 27.6 million in 2010 and this was the city with the highest population. However, population growth in Bombay and Jakarta, almost 5.5 times, was higher than any other city listed.
The table data shows that New York was the most populous city in the world in 1950 with exactly 12.5 million people. London and Tokyo stood at the second and third position in this list while Moscow with its 5.3 million people was in 5th position. In 2010, Tokyo topped the rank followed by Bombay and Lagos.
Finally, globally 3 billion people lived in rural areas in 1980 while less than 2 billion in cities. In 2010, the number of city-living-residents upsurged to over 4 billion while it was slightly over 3 in villages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct preposition Original: during 1970 and 2010 Suggested revision: in 1970 and 2010 Why it matters: Use “in” rather than “during” with two specific years.
- 2. Choose precise chart verb Original: outlines Suggested revision: lists Why it matters: “Lists” more precisely describes how the table presents the cities.
- 3. Clarify noun phrase Original: population distribution Suggested revision: the distribution of the population Why it matters: The expanded noun phrase is clearer in this comparison.
- 4. Use natural comparison Original: the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta was faster than that of other cities Suggested revision: Bombay and Jakarta experienced faster population growth than the other cities Why it matters: This wording compares the cities’ growth more directly and naturally.
- 5. Correct population phrase Original: Tokyo had the highest residents Suggested revision: Tokyo had the largest population Why it matters: A city has a large population, not “high residents.”
- 6. Fix plural comparison Original: higher than that of New York and Shanghai Suggested revision: higher than the figures for New York and Shanghai Why it matters: The comparison refers to two separate population figures, so singular “that” is unsuitable.
- 7. Use concise phrasing Original: Population in Bombay Suggested revision: Bombay’s population Why it matters: The possessive form is a more natural way to name a city’s population.
- 8. Fix fraction structure Original: one-third than that of Tokyo Suggested revision: one-third of Tokyo’s Why it matters: Fractions use “of,” not “than,” when expressing this relationship.
- 9. Use correct measure Original: the least among the five cities Suggested revision: the lowest figure among the five cities Why it matters: “Lowest figure” is the appropriate expression for a population value.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: The table data shows Suggested revision: The table shows Why it matters: “Table data” is unnecessarily repetitive because the table itself presents the data.
- 11. Use plural positions Original: stood at the second and third position Suggested revision: stood in second and third positions Why it matters: Two cities occupy two positions, so the noun must be plural and take “in.”
- 12. Correct collocation Original: topped the rank Suggested revision: topped the ranking Why it matters: “Topped the ranking” is the standard collocation for holding first place.
Suggested Rewrites
- during 1970 and 2010 in 1970 and 2010
- outlines lists
- population distribution the distribution of the population
- the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta was faster than that of other cities Bombay and Jakarta experienced faster population growth than the other cities
- Tokyo had the highest residents Tokyo had the largest population
- higher than that of New York and Shanghai higher than the figures for New York and Shanghai
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is well organised, with a clear overview and logically separated coverage of all three visuals, and it selects many accurate headline figures. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally inaccurate data coverage, especially the omission of the 1990 bar series and the unsupported shared claim that Bombay and Jakarta both grew about 5.5 times. Prioritise comparing all three years and checking each numerical relationship precisely before describing it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and relevant figures address all three visuals, but the 1990 bar data are omitted and Jakarta's growth is overstated by the shared 5.5-times claim.
Compare representative cities across 1970, 1990, and 2010, and calculate Bombay's and Jakarta's growth separately before reporting it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically through a concise introduction, a distinct overview, and well-focused paragraphs for each visual.
Refine a few comparative references so that expressions such as "that of" always point to a precise quantity.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad range of topic vocabulary, though several choices and collocations, including "highest residents" and "city-living-residents upsurged," sound unnatural.
Prefer precise, conventional phrases such as "had the largest population" and "the urban population rose" when reporting trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly, despite occasional errors in comparison forms, articles, and agreement.
Check comparative structures and noun agreement, replacing forms such as "one-third than" with "one-third of" and "position" with "positions" where needed.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
The question will be loaded automatically.