The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in millions) of telephone calls in Finland, divided into three categories, from 1995 – 2004.
Sample Response
The given bar graph shows data on the three types of calls made by Finnish citizens from 1995 to 2004. As is given on the graph, most Finish citizens made local landline calls while the mobile phone usages increased over the time. Initially, in 1995, Finnish people made 12000 million minutes of local landline calls while the national & international calling time was half of that. Very few mobile calls were made in this year. But over time the mobile calling time increased steadily and reached to about 8000 million minutes in 2003. The local calling was the most popular way of calling throughout the period but after 2001, this way of calling kept decreasing with the popularity of mobile phones and national & international calling. Mobile phone calling increased more compared to the other two ways of calling and the trends shows that over time the local landline usages declined while the other two ways of calling increased. In summary, local landline calling in Finland is higher than mobile and national & international calling throughout the given period and total mobile phone calling time had increased more quickly than other two ways of calling.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural reporting phrase Original: As is given on the graph Suggested revision: As the graph shows Why it matters: The replacement is the standard way to introduce visual evidence.
- 2. Correct nationality spelling Original: Finish Suggested revision: Finnish Why it matters: Finnish is the correct adjective for people from Finland.
- 3. Use uncountable usage noun Original: usages Suggested revision: use Why it matters: Use is uncountable when describing the general category.
- 4. Remove unnecessary article Original: over the time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: The fixed expression over time does not take the article.
- 5. Report the starting figure Original: Very few mobile calls Suggested revision: About 500 million minutes of mobile calls Why it matters: The chart provides a numerical value that is more informative than very few.
- 6. Use past-time reference Original: this Suggested revision: that Why it matters: That year is the natural reference to the previously stated year 1995.
- 7. Name the category precisely Original: The local calling Suggested revision: Local landline calls Why it matters: The replacement matches the category label used by the chart.
- 8. Use quantitative wording Original: most popular way of calling throughout the period Suggested revision: largest call category throughout the period Why it matters: Largest accurately describes the category with the greatest number of minutes.
- 9. Identify peak then decline Original: after 2001, this way of calling kept decreasing Suggested revision: after peaking in 2001, its total declined Why it matters: The chart shows a peak in 2001 followed by a continuous fall.
- 10. Avoid unsupported causation Original: with the popularity of Suggested revision: while totals rose for Why it matters: The chart shows simultaneous trends but does not establish that popularity caused the decline.
- 11. Use measured quantity Original: Mobile phone calling increased more Suggested revision: Mobile call minutes increased more Why it matters: The chart measures total minutes rather than the general activity of calling.
- 12. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: shows Suggested revision: show Why it matters: The plural subject trends requires the plural verb show.
Suggested Rewrites
- As is given on the graph As the graph shows
- Finish Finnish
- usages use
- over the time over time
- Very few mobile calls About 500 million minutes of mobile calls
- this that
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear identification of local landline calls as the largest category and mobile calls as the fastest-growing one. Its main limitation is incomplete trend coverage: it omits the substantial rise and 2001 peak in local calls, gives few figures for national and international calls, and introduces an unsupported causal explanation. Prioritise describing each category’s full trajectory with accurate peak and endpoint values.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main overall trends are identified and some starting and later values are accurate, but the local-call peak and much of the national and international series are underdeveloped.
Report local calls rising to about 17,000 million minutes in 2001 before falling, and quantify both steadily growing categories at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a generally understandable category-based progression, but one continuous paragraph and repeated overview points create redundancy.
Use a separate overview, then group local calls in one detail paragraph and the two rising categories in another.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for trend description, but spelling and collocational errors such as ‘Finish’, ‘phone usages’, ‘reached to’, and ‘ways of calling’ recur.
Use precise forms such as ‘Finnish’, ‘mobile-phone use’, ‘reached’, and ‘call categories’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences are both used, but errors in agreement, articles, tense, plurals, and prepositions occur frequently.
Check subject–verb agreement and keep past tense consistent when describing the completed 1995–2004 period.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in millions) of telephone calls in Finland, divided into three categories, from 1995 – 2004.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.