In April 2006, an experimental flu vaccine was trialled on females in a large town. The graphs outline the effect of this vaccination in this town.
Sample Response
The bar graph shows the number of deceased people in a town in 2005 and 2006in a town in 2006, the year when a flu vaccine was trialledtrailed; the pie chart, the pie chart presents the distributionratio of complaints from different patients after vaccinationdue to vaccinations and finally the line graph outlines the flu rates among people in this town throughout the year. According to the bar graph, 2 females died in the town in question in 2005 while no male death was recorded in this year. In 2006, the year the flu vaccine was trialled on femalesthe flu vaccine experimented on females in this town, 4 women passed away. However, a male also died in 2006. The pie chart reveals that the highest percentagepercentages of complaints (35%) came from the people aged over 65elderly women (over 65 years). Almost a quarter of the total complaintsobjections were related to babies or childrenadolescents and 13% were related13% related to people not given the vaccinewomen who were not given the vaccine. 28% of those objections were made by people who were receiving medical treatmentunder medical treatments. The line graph shows that the flu rate among females was higher throughout the yearyears. In March 20062003 around 1000 females suffered from the flu while this was exactly halfexactly the half among men. After the vaccination in April 2006, the flu cases actually surged. In May 2006, 3500 females had flusome kind of flues while just over 2500 men suffered from it. After August, the number of cases stabilized but was higher than earlier in the yearhigher than the earlier of the year, around 2750 cases for female and just below 1500 for men.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers all three visuals and its graph-by-graph sequence makes the main information generally easy to follow. Its main limitation is incomplete overviewing, compounded by some imprecise descriptions and recurring awkward word choices and grammatical constructions. The highest-priority improvement is to add a clear synthesis of the principal patterns across the visuals, then support it with accurately selected comparisons expressed in more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three visuals are addressed with several accurate figures, but the overview is limited and details such as children being called adolescents and the March year are inaccurate.
State the key cross-visual patterns clearly and check every category, date, and comparison against the charts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from one visual to the next, although presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens the structural clarity.
Separate the introduction and overview from grouped detail paragraphs while using referencing more precisely.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for reporting data, but awkward or inaccurate choices such as 'trailed', 'objections', and 'flues' reduce precision.
Use standard chart-reporting collocations and proofread carefully for word form, spelling, and natural phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning, but recurring article, agreement, and construction errors reduce control.
Practise accurate passive structures and comparative phrases, then edit sentences for articles and singular-plural agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
In April 2006, an experimental flu vaccine was trialled on females in a large town. The graphs outline the effect of this vaccination in this town.
Your response
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