The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The pie charts outline the proportions of four food types consumed worldwide, in China, and in India in 2008types of food people ate in 2008 compared with the consumption of these items in China and India in the same year. As a general trend, processed food was the largest food categorymain energy source for the world population and consumption of nuts and seeds in China and India was significantly higher than the world average. As the illustration suggests, just over 40% of the diet40% diet of the global population came from processed food in 2008 which was slightly greater than that of India and exactly 7% higher than that of China. Vegetables and fruits provided about one-third of Chinese food consumptionsomewhat one-third dietary requirements of the China's consumptionChinese citizens and precisely 23% of Indians. The world average for fruit and vegetable consumption was just below 30%. Interestingly, nuts and seeds accounted for almost one-fifth food consumptionstocks for the Chinese, a noticeably higher rate than the world averagestandard. Nearly one-tenth of food consumptionone-tenth food rations in India was from nuts and seeds. Food derived from animals supplied more than one-fourth Indian food intakedietary provisions, which was 12% higher than that of China and almost the same as the world figurealmost the same of the world’s dietary demands.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's strongest feature is its accurate selection of the main proportions and useful comparisons across the world, China, and India. Its main weakness is that several descriptions turn simple consumption shares into unsupported claims about energy, stocks, or dietary needs; the highest-priority improvement is to use precise percentage language and organize the categories into clearer comparative paragraphs, especially for animal food.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the main proportions across the world, China, and India, and includes useful comparisons for processed food, vegetables/fruits, nuts/seeds, and animal food. Some wording such as 'energy source' and 'food stocks' is not directly supported by the pie charts.
Keep all descriptions as shares of food consumption rather than nutrition, energy, stocks, or dietary requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is cohesive and mostly well sequenced, moving from overview to category details. It would benefit from clearer paragraphing and a more explicit comparison of India versus China for animal food.
Use one paragraph for processed food and vegetables/fruits, and another for animal food and nuts/seeds.
Lexical Resource
Lexical range is good, but several phrases are over-elaborate or imprecise for simple percentages, such as 'dietary provisions' and 'food rations'.
Use concise Task 1 nouns: 'share', 'proportion', 'category', 'accounted for', and 'made up'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled, but some noun phrases are missing articles or prepositions, and one final comparison is incomplete.
Check phrases after percentages: use 'of the diet', 'of consumption', or 'of food intake' consistently.