The pie charts show the average consumption of food in the world in 2008 compared to two countries; China and India.
Sample Response
The pie charts outline the types of food people ate in 2008 compared with the consumption of these items in China and India in the same year. As a general trend, processed food was the main energy source for the world population and consumption of nuts and seeds in China and India was significantly higher than the world average. As the illustration suggests, just over 40% diet of the global population came from processed food in 2008 which was slightly greater than that of India and exactly 7% higher than that of China. Vegetables and fruits provided somewhat one-third dietary requirements of the Chinese citizens and precisely 23% of Indians. The world average for fruit and vegetable consumption was just below 30%. Interestingly, nuts and seeds accounted for almost one-fifth food stocks for the Chinese, a noticeably higher rate than the world standard. Nearly one-tenth food rations in India was from nuts and seeds. Food derived from animals supplied more than one-fourth Indian dietary provisions, which was 12% higher than that of China and almost the same of the world’s dietary demands.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clearer scope Original: types of food people ate in 2008 compared with the consumption of these items in China and India Suggested revision: proportions of four food types consumed worldwide, in China, and in India in 2008 Why it matters: This states all three pie charts and the percentage measure clearly.
- 2. Unsupported term Original: main energy source Suggested revision: largest food category Why it matters: The charts show food-consumption shares, not energy sources.
- 3. Missing of Original: 40% diet Suggested revision: 40% of the diet Why it matters: A percentage needs 'of' before the noun phrase.
- 4. Unnatural phrase Original: somewhat one-third dietary requirements Suggested revision: about one-third of Chinese food consumption Why it matters: The chart gives proportions of consumption, not dietary requirements.
- 5. Avoid population label Original: Chinese citizens Suggested revision: China's consumption Why it matters: The pie chart is about national consumption shares, not individual citizens.
- 6. Wrong noun Original: food stocks Suggested revision: food consumption Why it matters: 'Food stocks' means supplies, which is not what the chart measures.
- 7. Neutral comparison Original: world standard Suggested revision: world average Why it matters: 'World average' is clearer and less judgmental.
- 8. Missing of Original: one-tenth food rations Suggested revision: one-tenth of food consumption Why it matters: The phrase needs 'of' and a more appropriate noun.
- 9. Simpler noun Original: dietary provisions Suggested revision: food intake Why it matters: This is more natural for a Task 1 pie-chart description.
- 10. Comparison phrase Original: almost the same of the world’s dietary demands Suggested revision: almost the same as the world figure Why it matters: Use 'the same as', not 'the same of'.
- 11. Improve introduction Original: The pie charts outline the types of food people ate in 2008 compared with the consumption of these items in China and India in the same year. Suggested revision: The pie charts compare the proportions of four food categories consumed worldwide, in China, and in India in 2008. Why it matters: This accurately describes the three charts and avoids a vague comparison.
- 12. Use chart terms Original: As a general trend, processed food was the main energy source for the world population and consumption of nuts and seeds in China and India was significantly higher than the world average. Suggested revision: Overall, processed food accounted for the largest share in all three charts, while nuts and seeds made up a much higher proportion in China and India than in the world figure. Why it matters: The chart does not show energy sources, only consumption proportions.
Suggested Rewrites
- types of food people ate in 2008 compared with the consumption of these items in China and India proportions of four food types consumed worldwide, in China, and in India in 2008
- main energy source largest food category
- 40% diet 40% of the diet
- somewhat one-third dietary requirements about one-third of Chinese food consumption
- Chinese citizens China's consumption
- food stocks food consumption
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the main proportions across the world, China, and India, and includes useful comparisons for processed food, vegetables/fruits, nuts/seeds, and animal food. Some wording such as 'energy source' and 'food stocks' is not directly supported by the pie charts.
Keep all descriptions as shares of food consumption rather than nutrition, energy, stocks, or dietary requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is cohesive and mostly well sequenced, moving from overview to category details. It would benefit from clearer paragraphing and a more explicit comparison of India versus China for animal food.
Use one paragraph for processed food and vegetables/fruits, and another for animal food and nuts/seeds.
Lexical Resource
Lexical range is good, but several phrases are over-elaborate or imprecise for simple percentages, such as 'dietary provisions' and 'food rations'.
Use concise Task 1 nouns: 'share', 'proportion', 'category', 'accounted for', and 'made up'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled, but some noun phrases are missing articles or prepositions, and one final comparison is incomplete.
Check phrases after percentages: use 'of the diet', 'of consumption', or 'of food intake' consistently.