The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012.
Sample Response
The yielded table illustrates the number of airport visitors in three prime airports in Germany between 2007 to 2012. Travellers are given in millions per year.
Overall, year by year traveller number was rose; Frankfurt airport had most visitors whereas in Berlin Tegel travellers number was least in starting and last given years. Throughout the period, dramatic growth has been seen in Berlin Tegal, which had more than double sightseer after 5 years.
For Dusseldorf, in 2007, 27.2 million people prefer to travel by this airport which grew dramatically and touched to a zenith point of 48.2 Million after a couple of years. After 2009 traveller number was declined to 9 million in 2010 and had 45.6 in 2012. Between that period dip was 33.2 visitors in 2011. For Berlin Tegal, 17.3 passengers were in 2007, which increased to roughly 10 million travellers after 2009. From 2010 to 2012 had the same sightseer on account of 43.3 m
For Frankfurt, we can clearly see the growth of visitors, it had above the double sightseer than Berlin Tegal which jump up continually, and after 3 years it had 11 million more travellers. In 2012 the number of visitors was double than before a half decades.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard term Original: yielded table Suggested revision: table Why it matters: ‘Yielded’ does not describe a table presenting data.
- 2. Choose precise wording Original: prime Suggested revision: major Why it matters: ‘Major’ is the natural adjective for important airports in this context.
- 3. Correct time range Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: ‘Between’ must be paired with ‘and’ when giving a range.
- 4. Fix noun phrase Original: year by year traveller number Suggested revision: the number of travellers Why it matters: The plural count noun and article are required in this construction.
- 5. Fix verb form Original: was rose Suggested revision: rose Why it matters: The intransitive verb ‘rose’ does not take the passive auxiliary ‘was’.
- 6. Add superlative article Original: had most visitors Suggested revision: had the most visitors Why it matters: A superlative noun phrase requires ‘the’.
- 7. Fix comparison phrase Original: travellers number was least Suggested revision: the number of travellers was the lowest Why it matters: This comparison needs a grammatical noun phrase and the definite article before the superlative.
- 8. Keep past tense Original: dramatic growth has been seen Suggested revision: dramatic growth was seen Why it matters: The finished historical period calls for the past tense.
- 9. Use count comparison Original: more than double sightseer Suggested revision: more than twice as many travellers Why it matters: ‘Sightseer’ is inappropriate here, and count nouns use ‘twice as many’.
- 10. Use past tense Original: prefer Suggested revision: preferred Why it matters: The description refers to data from 2007 and requires the past tense.
- 11. Use natural trend phrase Original: touched to a zenith point Suggested revision: reached a peak Why it matters: ‘Reached a peak’ is the standard expression for the highest value.
- 12. Lowercase unit Original: Million Suggested revision: million Why it matters: A number unit written as a common noun should not be capitalized.
Suggested Rewrites
- yielded table table
- prime major
- to and
- year by year traveller number the number of travellers
- was rose rose
- had most visitors had the most visitors
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies the broad upward movement and attempts to compare all three airports, providing a recognizable structure. However, several figures and trends are reported inaccurately or unclearly, while frequent grammatical and word-choice errors sometimes obstruct the comparisons. The highest priority is to verify each value against the table and express a few accurate start-to-end comparisons in straightforward sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A discernible overview and coverage of all airports are present, but several key figures and trend descriptions are inaccurate or unclear.
Check every stated value against the table and compare the correct 2007 and 2012 figures for each airport.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing creates a basic progression from overview to airport details, though connections within sentences are often difficult to follow.
Organize details consistently by airport and use simple time links to show rises, falls, and stable periods.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts some varied trend vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate choices such as sightseer and yielded reduce precision.
Use standard Task 1 terms such as passengers, figures, rose, fell, peaked, and remained stable accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, articles, tense, comparison forms, and sentence construction regularly strain clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check tense and number agreement throughout.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.