The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the information regarding how families in one country spent their weekly earnings in 1968 and in 2018.
Overall, families in 1968 spent most of their weekly incomes on food .However, in 2018 people tend to spent more on leisure and housing. whilst food expenditures are relatively lesser then these two.
In 1968, families spent almost 35% of there income into food. while expenditures on housing,clothing and footwear was only 10%. Household and personal goods took only 8% of their weekly income.
On the other hand, In 2018 people tend to spent more on leisure and housing . leisure took almost 22% whereas , 19% of there weekly earnings were spent on housing. Then on number three comes food with only 16% of their income.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Spacing Original: food .However Suggested revision: food. However Why it matters: There should be no space before a period, and there must be a single space after a period before starting a new sentence.
- 2. Tense error Original: tend to spent Suggested revision: tended to spend Why it matters: Since the data refers to 2018 (the past), use the past tense 'tended'. Additionally, the infinitive 'to' must be followed by the base verb 'spend', not the past form 'spent'.
- 3. Word choice Original: lesser then Suggested revision: lower than Why it matters: Use 'lower than' or 'less than' when comparing percentages. 'Then' is a time indicator; 'than' is used for comparisons.
- 4. Homophone error Original: there income Suggested revision: their income Why it matters: Use the possessive pronoun 'their' instead of the adverb 'there'.
- 5. Sentence fragment Original: into food. while Suggested revision: on food, while Why it matters: Do not start a new sentence with 'while' in this context, as it creates a sentence fragment. Connect it to the previous clause with a comma. Also, the preposition should be 'on food', not 'into food'.
- 6. Subject-verb agreement Original: expenditures on housing,clothing and footwear was Suggested revision: expenditure on housing, clothing, and footwear was Why it matters: The plural noun 'expenditures' does not agree with the singular verb 'was'. Changing 'expenditures' to the singular 'expenditure' resolves this. Also, add spaces after commas.
- 7. Capitalization Original: other hand, In Suggested revision: other hand, in Why it matters: The word 'in' should not be capitalized after a comma.
- 8. Punctuation spacing Original: whereas , 19% Suggested revision: whereas 19% Why it matters: Remove the unnecessary space before the comma, or remove the comma entirely as it is not needed after 'whereas' here.
- 9. Homophone error Original: there weekly Suggested revision: their weekly Why it matters: Use the possessive pronoun 'their' instead of 'there'.
- 10. Informal phrasing Original: Then on number three comes food Suggested revision: Food was the third largest expense, Why it matters: 'Then on number three comes' is too informal and conversational for an academic report.
- 11. Sentence fragment Original: housing. whilst Suggested revision: housing, whilst Why it matters: 'Whilst' is a subordinating conjunction and should not start a new sentence here; it should be connected to the previous clause with a comma.
- 12. Double spacing Original: food expenditures are Suggested revision: food expenditures are Why it matters: Remove the double spaces between words to maintain clean formatting.
Suggested Rewrites
- food .However food. However
- tend to spent tended to spend
- lesser then lower than
- there income their income
- into food. while on food, while
- expenditures on housing,clothing and footwear was expenditure on housing, clothing, and footwear was
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the shifting spending habits between 1968 and 2018. However, the essay is significantly under-length at only 127 words, which prevents a fully developed comparison of all categories. To improve, expand on the remaining categories such as transport, fuel, and personal goods, while correcting frequent spelling and grammatical errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The candidate presents a clear overview and highlights key features like food, leisure, and housing. However, because the response is under-length (127 words), several categories (such as transport, fuel and power, and personal goods) are completely omitted or not compared, limiting the score.
Aim to write at least 150 words by systematically comparing all categories shown in the chart, grouping them logically rather than leaving some out.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs (Introduction, Overview, 1968 details, and 2018 details). However, there are spacing issues around punctuation, and some cohesive devices are used repetitively or incorrectly.
Ensure proper spacing after punctuation marks (commas and periods) and use a wider variety of transition words to connect ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally adequate to describe the chart, but there are noticeable spelling errors ('there' instead of 'their', 'lesser then' instead of 'less than') and repetitive phrasing.
Practice distinguishing homophones like 'there' and 'their', and learn synonyms for spending (e.g., expenditure, consumption, outgoings, allocation).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is the weakest area. There are frequent errors in tense consistency (mixing present 'tend' with past 'spent'), subject-verb agreement ('expenditures... was'), and sentence fragments starting with 'while'.
Focus on maintaining consistent past tense when describing historical data (1968 and 2018) and ensure that plural subjects are paired with plural verbs.