The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world.
Sample Response
The three pie charts give information about global coffee production, consumption and profit from numerous coffee-related businesses. Overall, Europeans and Americans drink the highest amount of coffee while South Africa is the biggest producer. Additionally, the coffee delivery service is the most profitable business among those compared. To begin with, citizens of Europe and America consume coffee four times as much as the rest of the world. Japan, whose production accounts for 18% internationally, only consume a mere 8% of global coffee. It is worth noticing that South Africa produces 44% of the coffee (more than anywhere else), which is exactly double than the coffee production in Indonesia - the country that makes the second-largest coffee. Along with South Africa, Indonesia and Japan, Vietnam also harvests coffee and the amount is 16%. Regarding profit distribution, it can be seen that more than half of it goes to the coffee delivery industry. Retailers get approximately a quarter while the figure for coffee producers' profit is only 15 per cent. The remaining 10 per cent is what exporters receive.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe the measure accurately Original: profit from numerous coffee-related businesses Suggested revision: profit distribution among four coffee-industry groups Why it matters: The third chart shows how profit is divided among four groups rather than profits from numerous businesses.
- 2. Refer to chart shares Original: highest amount of coffee Suggested revision: largest shares of coffee consumption Why it matters: The chart presents regional proportions of consumption rather than absolute quantities.
- 3. Match the chart label Original: coffee delivery service Suggested revision: coffee delivery sector Why it matters: The visual identifies a delivery category and does not specify a particular service.
- 4. Fix the relative clause Original: whose production accounts for 18% internationally Suggested revision: which accounts for 18% of global production Why it matters: Which clearly refers to Japan's share and global production states the measure precisely.
- 5. Use singular agreement Original: only consume Suggested revision: consumes only Why it matters: The singular subject Japan requires the verb form consumes.
- 6. Correct the comparison Original: exactly double than Suggested revision: exactly twice Why it matters: Twice is used without double or than in this comparison.
- 7. Use precise production wording Original: the country that makes the second-largest coffee Suggested revision: the second-largest coffee producer Why it matters: Coffee itself is not described as second-largest; the country ranks second for production.
- 8. Make the reference explicit Original: the amount is 16% Suggested revision: it accounts for 16% of global production Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the percentage refers to Vietnam's production share.
- 9. Clarify the distributed share Original: coffee producers' profit Suggested revision: the share received by coffee producers Why it matters: The chart shows producers' portion of total profit, not the size of their own profit.
- 10. Use formal comparison wording Original: biggest producer Suggested revision: largest producer Why it matters: Largest is the more precise formal term for comparing production shares.
- 11. Avoid unsupported profitability Original: most profitable business Suggested revision: recipient of the largest profit share Why it matters: The chart shows allocation of total profit, not comparative business profitability.
- 12. Use neutral reporting language Original: a mere 8% Suggested revision: 8% Why it matters: Removing the evaluative modifier keeps the description objective.
Suggested Rewrites
- profit from numerous coffee-related businesses profit distribution among four coffee-industry groups
- highest amount of coffee largest shares of coffee consumption
- coffee delivery service coffee delivery sector
- whose production accounts for 18% internationally which accounts for 18% of global production
- only consume consumes only
- exactly double than exactly twice
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response provides a clear overview and covers all three charts with accurate, well-chosen comparisons, especially the combined consumption contrast and the production ranking. The main limitation is occasional imprecise phrasing and grammar, such as the comparison of South Africa with Indonesia, while the single-block organisation slightly weakens presentation. Separate the overview and detail groups, and refine comparative structures and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three charts are addressed through an accurate overview and well-selected figures and comparisons.
For even fuller precision, state Europe’s and America’s individual consumption shares as well as their combined contrast.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves clearly through consumption, production, and profit, with appropriate linking despite being presented as one block.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview and grouped details to make the three datasets easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, though a few phrases such as makes the second-largest coffee are imprecise.
Prefer exact collocations such as second-largest producer and share of total profit.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with generally good control, while isolated agreement and comparative-form errors remain.
Correct forms such as Japan consumes and exactly double the figure for Indonesia.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.