The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world.
Sample Response
The pie charts correlate global coffee consumptions, coffee production in four countries as well as profit distributions among business segments related to coffee. It is obvious that Europeans and Americans are the primary coffee consumers while South Africa is the largest coffee producer among the given countries. Moreover, companies that deliver coffee make more profit than other organisations that do business in this industry. According to the illustration, Europeans drink more than 40% coffee which is the highest ratio of coffee intake in the world. America consumes 2% less than that while Japanese dissipate only 8% of global coffee. Rest of the world merely consumes 12% coffee. South Africa contributes to 44% coffee production which is the highest. Indonesia harvests 22% coffee, exactly half of the South African coffee assembly. Japan and Vietnam make 18% and 16% coffee respectively. Interestingly, despite Japan’s being one of the top countries to produce coffee, its consumption ratio is comparatively lower. Finally, more than half of the profit from coffee is made by the delivery industries. Coffee retailers’ share of profit is roughly a quarter while coffee producers and exporters make 10% and 15% profits respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart verb Original: correlate Suggested revision: compare Why it matters: The charts display separate distributions rather than establishing a correlation.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: coffee consumptions Suggested revision: coffee consumption Why it matters: ‘Consumption’ is uncountable when referring to the global total.
- 3. Use singular distribution Original: profit distributions Suggested revision: profit distribution Why it matters: The chart presents one distribution of profit across business segments.
- 4. Use concise category Original: companies that deliver coffee Suggested revision: coffee delivery companies Why it matters: This phrase names the chart category more directly and concisely.
- 5. State exact Europe share Original: Europeans drink more than 40% coffee Suggested revision: Europe accounts for 41% of global coffee consumption Why it matters: The consumption chart shows Europe's exact share as 41%.
- 6. Clarify percentage points Original: America consumes 2% less than that Suggested revision: America accounts for 39%, two percentage points less than Europe Why it matters: The chart shows 39%, which is two percentage points below Europe's 41%.
- 7. Correct country wording Original: Japanese dissipate Suggested revision: Japan accounts for Why it matters: The chart category is Japan, and ‘dissipate’ does not mean consume in this context.
- 8. Specify consumption share Original: 8% of global coffee Suggested revision: 8% of global coffee consumption Why it matters: The percentage belongs specifically to the consumption chart.
- 9. Add definite article Original: Rest of the world Suggested revision: The rest of the world Why it matters: The fixed phrase requires the definite article ‘the’.
- 10. Complete percentage phrase Original: 12% coffee Suggested revision: 12% of global coffee consumption Why it matters: A percentage needs an ‘of’ phrase that identifies the measured total.
- 11. Use share construction Original: contributes to 44% coffee production Suggested revision: accounts for 44% of coffee production Why it matters: ‘Accounts for’ is the conventional expression for a proportion of production.
- 12. Correct production phrase Original: Indonesia harvests 22% coffee Suggested revision: Indonesia produces 22% of the coffee Why it matters: The chart reports a production share, not a percentage directly modifying ‘coffee’.
Suggested Rewrites
- correlate compare
- coffee consumptions coffee consumption
- profit distributions profit distribution
- companies that deliver coffee coffee delivery companies
- Europeans drink more than 40% coffee Europe accounts for 41% of global coffee consumption
- America consumes 2% less than that America accounts for 39%, two percentage points less than Europe
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response provides a clear overview and systematically covers consumption, production, and profit distribution, using nearly all figures accurately. Its strongest feature is the complete selection of key proportions and leaders across the three charts; the main limitation is awkward lexical phrasing such as "Japanese dissipate" and "coffee assembly," compounded by a single-block presentation. Prioritise conventional chart vocabulary and separate the three datasets into focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview accurately identifies the leading consumers, producer, and profit recipient, while the details report virtually every proportion and comparison correctly.
Refine the Japan comparison by stating its 18% production share and 8% consumption share directly rather than calling it a top producer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a clear sequence from consumption to production and profit, with effective comparative links despite being presented as one paragraph.
Give each pie chart a focused detail paragraph so that the three datasets and their comparisons are visually distinct.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a reasonable range of chart vocabulary, but several inaccurate choices, including "correlate," "dissipate," "assembly," and "delivery industries," sound unnatural.
Prefer standard terms such as "illustrate," "consume," "production," and "delivery companies" when describing shares.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally controlled and meaning remains clear, though article, countability, and percentage constructions contain occasional errors.
Review percentage phrases and group nouns, using forms such as "41% of coffee" and "Japanese consumers" consistently.
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