The Chart Below Shows the Global Sales of Different Kinds of Digital Games From 2000 to 2006.
Sample Response
Overall, handheld games contributed the most and had a steady increase throughout. The figures for console games kept reducing whereas that of online and mobile games continued to grow from their inception in 2001 and 2002 respectively, to the end of the period.
With regards to handheld games, the initial figure was about $11billion in 2000 and saw a continuous growth until 2004 where sales reached approximately $16billion. This amount remained stable the following year before experiencing a rise to $18billion at the end of the period. Similarly, the amounts earned from online and mobile phone games were the same in 2002, being around $1billion, and in 2004, a growth of both to close to $4billion. Although money gotten from playing games on cell phones had surpassed that gotten from online games in years 2003 and 2006, there was a reversal at the end of the period where online games income overtook that of phone gaming at nearly $2billion.
Revenue from console games in the year 2000 stood at $6billion, over half of that of handheld games in the same year. However, the subsequent years witnessed a gradual decline until 2003 where it levelled off in the next year, yet afterwards continued its fall into 2006 where sales generated only amounted to about $3billion- a 50% reduction of the initial figure.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use sales language Original: contributed the most Suggested revision: generated the highest sales Why it matters: The chart measures sales, so this wording describes the comparison more precisely.
- 2. Use concise trend verb Original: had a steady increase Suggested revision: rose steadily Why it matters: A direct trend verb is more natural and concise for chart description.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: figures for console games kept reducing whereas that of online and mobile games continued Suggested revision: figure for console games kept declining, whereas those for online and mobile games continued Why it matters: The singular console figure contrasts with the plural figures for the other two categories.
- 4. Correct fixed phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The standard expression is “with regard to.”
- 5. Improve trend expression Original: saw a continuous growth Suggested revision: rose continuously Why it matters: The figure itself rose, so the verb should directly express that movement.
- 6. Use time connector Original: where Suggested revision: when Why it matters: Use “when” rather than “where” to refer to a year.
- 7. Use precise measure Original: amounts earned from online and mobile phone games Suggested revision: sales of online and mobile phone games Why it matters: “Sales” matches the chart’s stated measure more directly.
- 8. Clarify time sequence Original: until 2003 where it levelled off in the next year Suggested revision: until 2003, then levelled off the following year Why it matters: This revision expresses the decline and subsequent plateau in a clear chronological sequence.
- 9. Use natural chart wording Original: inception Suggested revision: introduction Why it matters: “Introduction” is more natural for the point when a game category first appears in the data.
- 10. Use direct data phrasing Original: the initial figure was about $11billion in 2000 Suggested revision: sales initially stood at about $11 billion in 2000 Why it matters: This construction links the sales measure directly to its starting value.
- 11. Match chart terminology Original: Revenue from console games Suggested revision: Console game sales Why it matters: The chart reports sales, so the revised subject uses its exact measure.
- 12. Make timing concise Original: in the year 2000 Suggested revision: in 2000 Why it matters: The shorter time expression is clearer without changing the meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- contributed the most generated the highest sales
- had a steady increase rose steadily
- figures for console games kept reducing whereas that of online and mobile games continued figure for console games kept declining, whereas those for online and mobile games continued
- regards regard
- saw a continuous growth rose continuously
- where when
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview and organizes the main trends into a readable account, with generally accurate coverage of handheld and console game sales. Its main weakness is the confused final comparison between online and mobile games, including an incorrect reference to 2006 and an inaccurate figure. Prioritize checking every comparison against the chart and expressing the final-year gap precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate figures cover the main trends, but the final comparison of online and mobile games is materially inaccurate.
Verify the 2006 values and state that online games reached about $9 billion, roughly $2 billion more than mobile games.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from an overview to grouped details, although one long comparison sentence becomes difficult to follow.
Separate multi-year comparisons into shorter sentences so each trend and reversal has an unmistakable reference.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for describing trends and revenue, but phrases such as money gotten and figures kept reducing are unnatural or imprecise.
Use standard chart language such as revenue from, sales declined, and exceeded to make comparisons more precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, despite recurring problems with agreement, reference, and clause control.
Check plural agreement and replace misplaced relative adverbs such as where with time expressions such as when or in which year.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The Chart Below Shows the Global Sales of Different Kinds of Digital Games From 2000 to 2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.