The three pie charts show the production and consumption of tea and where the profit goes around the world.
This response is estimated at Band 5.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The threethere pie charts illustrate the percentage of tea production,tea consumption and profit distributionthe profits distribution around the world.
Overall,it is clearcleared that the proportions of tea production came from South Africa, while Europe was the main consumerand consumption played important roles in South Africa, while.While the figure for profits distribution went primarily tofocused significantly on delivery.
South AfricaSouth of Africa had the largest proportion of tea production at 35%,and next were Indonesia and Japan, accounting for 25% and 22% respectively. In contrast,,which were took up at 25% and 22%,in contrast,Vietnam accounted for only 18% of tea productiononly accounted for 18% for tea production.In the part of tea consumption,Europe accounted for half of all consumptionmade up the half part of consumption which was higher than AmericaUSA(35%),at 50%.Japan took up only 5%,and 10% of consumption camemade from other countries.
In tea profit distribution,delivery companies received the largest share, accountingwere the most profitable one,it is noticeable that they accounted for 50% of this figure,and it was double the share of retailersdouble to retailers(25%).Exporters received 11% of the profits and producers received 10%Exporters and producers only got 10% in profit distribution,while others had the lowest percentage of profit distribution ,at 4%.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay addresses all parts of the task by reporting the key figures across all three pie charts. However, grammar errors such as inaccurate verb patterns, misreported figures for exporters and producers, and awkward phrasing limit clarity. To improve, ensure all data is read accurately from the charts and focus on constructing accurate, varied sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main features are mostly reported, but the overview is slightly confusing and the figure for exporters (11%) was combined with producers (10%) and misreported.
Double-check the visual data carefully to ensure every category and precise percentage is accurately distinguished.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into paragraph structure, though some transition words are used awkwardly.
Use clear cohesive devices that accurately signal contrasts or additions without interrupting sentence flow.
Lexical Resource
A basic range of vocabulary is used, but there are repetitive phrasing patterns and spelling inaccuracies such as 'there' instead of 'three'.
Expand the range of paraphrase for proportions and percentages to avoid overusing identical verbs like 'take up' or 'account for'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammatical errors, including faulty passive constructions and incorrect relative clauses, noticeable throughout the text.
Practice linking dependent clauses correctly without combining passive and active verb structures incorrectly.