The graph reveals government debt as a percentage of gross domestic product (GDP) for the G7 countries in 2010-2015.
Sample Response
This line chart illustrates the proportions of government debt as a percentage of GDP for the G7 countries between 2010 and 2015. Overall, Japan maintained far higher than the remaining countries throughout the period. Germany was the only country whose proportion declined.
According to the data, Japan whose figure started at around 205% saw a mild climb to end at about 230% in 2015. The remaining countries can be divided into three groups based on their lower figures. For example, the USA and Italy initiated with almost identical figures, at about 125% experienced different patterns during the 5-year period. While the figures for the USA showed a marginal rise, those of Italy increased steadily after a short dip, overtaking the former in 2012. Italy ended the period at about 155% which was approximately 20% higher than the final figure for the USA.
France and Canada also started at similar figures at around 100%. They both increased mildly by 20 percentage points. The UK and Germany saw very different patterns. Although both countries started their figures at around 80%, those of UK climbed slowly to end at about 105%, whereas those of Germany showed a marginal but steady decline, ending at around 77% in 2015.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing complement Original: maintained far higher than Suggested revision: maintained a far higher debt ratio than Why it matters: The comparative adjective 'higher' requires a noun phrase like 'debt ratio' or 'figure'.
- 2. Add comma Original: Japan whose figure Suggested revision: Japan, whose figure Why it matters: A non-defining relative clause identifying a unique noun like 'Japan' needs a preceding comma.
- 3. Add comma Original: 205% saw Suggested revision: 205%, saw Why it matters: A comma is required to close the non-defining relative clause.
- 4. Missing predicate connector Original: figures, at about 125% experienced Suggested revision: figures at about 125%, but experienced Why it matters: The original phrasing lacks a conjunction to join the two main verbs grammatically.
- 5. Inaccurate trend description Original: the USA showed a marginal rise Suggested revision: the USA remained relatively stable Why it matters: The line for the USA stayed nearly flat around 125–135% rather than continuously rising.
- 6. Add comma Original: about 155% which Suggested revision: about 155%, which Why it matters: Use a comma before non-defining relative clauses starting with 'which'.
- 7. Repetitive prepositions Original: at Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Changing the second preposition avoids duplicating 'at' in quick succession.
- 8. Word choice Original: mildly Suggested revision: moderately Why it matters: 'Moderately' or 'slightly' is more natural than 'mildly' for data descriptions.
- 9. Awkward expression Original: started their figures Suggested revision: started Why it matters: 'Their figures started' is grammatically accurate, but 'countries started their figures' is unnatural.
- 10. Missing article Original: those of UK Suggested revision: that of the UK Why it matters: 'The UK' requires the definite article, and 'that' singular agrees with the debt proportion.
- 11. Sentence structure edit Original: For example, the USA and Italy initiated with almost identical figures, at about 125% experienced different patterns during the 5-year period. Suggested revision: For example, the USA and Italy started with almost identical figures at about 125%, but experienced different patterns during the 5-year period. Why it matters: The verb 'initiated' is used intransitively here, and the second clause lacks a coordinating conjunction.
- 12. Improve paragraph grouping Suggested revision: Group data explicitly by trajectory or value range, ensuring all key comparative points like the UK-Canada crossover around 2014 are highlighted. Why it matters: Combining the trends of Canada, France, UK, and Germany in logical visual pairings will improve cohesive reporting.
Suggested Rewrites
- maintained far higher than maintained a far higher debt ratio than
- Japan whose figure Japan, whose figure
- 205% saw 205%, saw
- figures, at about 125% experienced figures at about 125%, but experienced
- the USA showed a marginal rise the USA remained relatively stable
- about 155% which about 155%, which
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, well-structured comparison of all G7 countries with accurate data selection and an effective overview. Its main strength is the logical grouping of data, while its primary limitation lies in minor grammatical inaccuracies and slightly awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on polishing complex sentence structures and ensuring grammatical completeness when inserting percentage figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key features are accurately described and compared with a clear overview highlighting Japan's dominant position and Germany's unique decline.
Maintain this high standard by ensuring precise peak/end values are explicitly stated across all grouped categories.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organised into clear paragraphs based on starting figures and visual trends.
Vary cohesive transitions slightly to avoid repeating 'figures' when referring to data trends across sentences.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used flexibly to describe trends, differences, and specific data points.
Refine word choices in context to eliminate minor awkward phrasing such as 'maintained far higher than'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with good general control, despite a few minor grammatical slips.
Ensure subordinate clauses and prepositional phrases containing figures integrated smoothly without omitting necessary predicates.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph reveals government debt as a percentage of gross domestic product (GDP) for the G7 countries in 2010-2015.
Your response
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