The graphs show enrolment in different colleges in the Higher Colleges of Technology in 1999. HTC Graduates by Colleges HTC Graduates by levels and genders
Sample Response
The given graphs show the students’ enrollment in the Higher College of Technology for the year 1999. As is presented in the graphs, Dubai University had the largest number of male and female enrolled in 1999 and majority of those students achieved their certificates than other degrees. According to the graphs, more women got enrolled in the Higher College of Technology and the number ranges from 100 to almost 600. Among the enrolled students, the number of females was more than the male. No data for the male graduate was given and for higher diploma and certificate courses, women exceeded the number of males. According to the pie chart, half of the enrolled for certification courses while 27% had been in Diploma courses. 20% of the total students got enrolled in higher diploma while only 3% got enrolled in bachelor degree. In summary, the number of diploma and certificate students was significantly more than the number of bachelor degree students in Higher College of Technology and female superseded the male in terms of their number on those courses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong data type Original: students’ enrollment Suggested revision: graduates Why it matters: The visuals show graduates, not enrolment.
- 2. Institution name Original: Higher College of Technology Suggested revision: Higher Colleges of Technology Why it matters: Use the name shown in the task.
- 3. Wrong label Original: Dubai University Suggested revision: Dubai Women's and Dubai Men's colleges Why it matters: The chart refers to HCT colleges, not Dubai University.
- 4. Grammar and data Original: had the largest number of male and female enrolled Suggested revision: had the largest numbers of male and female graduates Why it matters: This fixes the form and matches the chart.
- 5. Missing article Original: majority of those students Suggested revision: the majority of those students Why it matters: A singular countable phrase needs "the" here.
- 6. Data wording Original: achieved their certificates than other degrees Suggested revision: received certificates rather than other qualifications Why it matters: Use accurate wording for award levels.
- 7. Wrong measure Original: more women got enrolled Suggested revision: more women graduated Why it matters: The charts show graduates.
- 8. Unclear reference Original: the number ranges from 100 to almost 600 Suggested revision: college totals range from about 100 to 547 Why it matters: Specify which numbers you mean.
- 9. Comparison form Original: the number of females was more than the male Suggested revision: the number of females was higher than the number of males Why it matters: Use parallel comparison.
- 10. Incorrect statement Original: No data for the male graduate was given Suggested revision: Male graduate data is shown for certificate, diploma, and higher diploma levels Why it matters: The level-by-gender chart includes male figures.
- 11. Natural comparison Original: women exceeded the number of males Suggested revision: women outnumbered men Why it matters: This is concise and natural.
- 12. Missing verb Original: half of the enrolled for certification courses Suggested revision: half of the graduates received certificates Why it matters: This fixes the sentence and the data type.
Suggested Rewrites
- students’ enrollment graduates
- Higher College of Technology Higher Colleges of Technology
- Dubai University Dubai Women's and Dubai Men's colleges
- had the largest number of male and female enrolled had the largest numbers of male and female graduates
- majority of those students the majority of those students
- achieved their certificates than other degrees received certificates rather than other qualifications
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response captures some broad patterns, such as Dubai having the largest numbers and certificates being the largest award category. However, it repeatedly calls the data enrolment rather than graduates, states incorrectly that no male data is given, and omits many key college figures.
Use the visual labels accurately: describe HCT graduates by college, level, and gender, and report key figures such as Dubai Women at 547 and certificate graduates at 50%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a basic introduction, overview, and summary, but ideas are compressed into one main paragraph and progression is sometimes unclear.
Separate details by chart: college totals, levels by gender, and total percentages.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is understandable but repetitive and sometimes inaccurate, especially "enrolled" and "superseded".
Use "graduates", "accounted for", "outnumbered", and "awards" consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent errors with articles, comparison structures, and missing words, but the main message is usually understandable.
Edit each sentence for a clear subject, verb, and object before adding comparisons.