The bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012.

Sample Response

1

The bar graph indicates the changes in the numbersdifferences in the figure for students studyinglearning Computer Science at a BritishBritain university between 2010 and 2012for two years.

2

According to the data, the main trend was that the number of all kinds of pupils increased steadily with the exception of that of British home students.

3

Looking first at womenIn detail, for the two female groupsregarding female students, there was a steady increasecontinuous climb in the numbers of British home and international studentsin the number of the native students and foreign students during the two-year period. Moreover, while the number of the former ones kept the largest (32, 44, 45), the figure for the latter one remained the lowest (14, 18, 20). Turning to menFollowing that, for the two male groupsin regard to male students, there was a considerable rise in the number of international students from 20 to 39 over the period. By contrastOn the contrary, althoughalbeit the number of the U.K. home students slumped from 2010 to 2011over the first two years, it rose sharplyskyrocketed from 2011 to 2012during the second two years and reached 43 in 2012, whichand it reached 43 in 2012 which was slightly lower than the figure for female British home studentsslightly smaller than that of female native students.

4

To sum up, it is seen that only the number of male British home studentsthe number of only British local students did not increase continuously.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response is clearly organized and supports its description with several accurate figures, especially for the female groups. Its main limitation is a narrow overview and incomplete comparison of the six series, compounded by imprecise language about the period and changes. The highest priority is to state the dominant overall patterns clearly, then compare male and female home and international students with consistently accurate wording.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.0
Scoring rule

The report gives a relevant overview and several accurate values, but it does not fully highlight the principal gender and nationality comparisons across all three years.

Next step

Write a more comprehensive overview that identifies the contrasting trend for British men and compares the highest and lowest groups across the period.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The information progresses from an overview to female and male details, although the sequencing is somewhat mechanical and the final paragraph largely repeats the overview.

Next step

Group the data around clearer comparison points and replace the repetitive conclusion with fuller development in the main detail paragraph.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, but several choices are unnatural or imprecise, including references to pupils, a Britain university, and figures that kept the largest.

Next step

Use precise chart language such as students, a British university, remained the highest, and rose or fell by a stated amount.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but article, reference, agreement, and clause-control errors recur throughout the report.

Next step

Check noun phrases and pronoun references carefully, and use shorter controlled complex sentences when comparing multiple groups and years.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The bar chart below gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012.

Your response

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20:00

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