The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The first line chart illustrates the proportions of households owning washing machines, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners while the second chart showssecond one depicts how much time per week each household spentevery family expended on household chores from 1920 to 2019 in one countryone particular nation. Overall, it is notable that while the figures for the appliancesutensils rose sharplywitnessed a strong surge, the figure fell markedlythe opposite was true for the time spent on houseworktime quantity. In addition, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners gainedvacuums gained substantial popularity, making them the most common at the end of the period. Upon a closer look at appliance ownership, in 1920, the percentages of households owningpercentages of homes having refrigerators and vacuums were 0%nearly 3% and 30%, respectively. Over the following six decadesDuring the next ten decades, the former skyrocketed to its peak of 100% in 1980, and then remained stablefollowed by a plateau, whereas the latter soared to 100% in 2000, then remained unchanged. As for washing machines, ownership was higher than the figures for the other appliances initiallymuch higher than the others initially, at 40%. However, it experienced slower growtha slower growth to just 70% between 1920 and 1960, later dippedbut later dipped slightly by five percentage pointsby about 5% in 1980 and recovered steadily to approximately 75% by 2019. Turning to the figures for hours spent on housework weekly, a plunge from 50 to 15 was seen over the first 60 years, and it then marginally declined to 10 hours by 2019.
Why this response received Band 7.5
This is a strong, concise report with an accurate overview and well-selected comparisons across both charts. Its main limitation is occasional imprecise or unnatural wording, such as describing appliances as utensils and referring to the time quantity, while the single-block presentation also weakens visual organisation. Prioritise more natural data-reporting collocations and clearer paragraph separation between the overview and detailed trends.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and accurately selects the principal appliance-ownership trends and the substantial fall in weekly housework hours.
Add one or two intermediate housework figures to make the treatment of the second chart as detailed as the appliance comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to appliance details and then housework, with effective signposting throughout.
Separate the overview and the two sets of details into distinct paragraphs so the organisation is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad range of trend vocabulary, although several choices such as utensils and time quantity are imprecise or unnatural.
Use standard chart-reporting terms such as appliances, ownership rates, and time spent on housework consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only minor awkwardness in comparisons and reference.
Refine comparison structures so ownership is compared with ownership and every pronoun has an unmistakable referent.