The first pie chart shows how energy is used in an average house in a European country. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions from this energy use in this country.
Sample Response
The first pie chart compares the power consumption in a typical house whereas the second one presents data on the percentages of greenhouse effects of these power-consuming equipment in a European country.
As a general trend, the more energy a household appliance use, the more greenhouse gas it emits. As can be seen, water heating and keeping the house warm or cool consume almost half of the energy required in an average family in this country. Cooking, standby and lighting all together utilise around 20% power while refrigerators alone need 12% electricity. All other appliances consume the rest of the one-quarter energy share in this state. Interestingly, there is a correlation between the percentage of energy a particular device requires to run and the percentage of greenhouse gas this device produces with the exception of heating and cooling device. Heating and cooling devices emit the highest percentages of greenhouse gas though they consume less power than water heaters. Other devices contribute to emitting dangerous gases based on the percentages of energy they require to function. Heating water, warming and cooling the rooms attribute to more than half of the total greenhouse gas emissions. Cooking, stand by and lighting combinedly contribute to 14% gas production which is almost the same as the amount produced by other appliances in a house.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name emissions accurately Original: the percentages of greenhouse effects Suggested revision: the percentage of greenhouse-gas emissions Why it matters: The chart measures greenhouse-gas emissions, not greenhouse effects.
- 2. Fix equipment agreement Original: these power-consuming equipment Suggested revision: this energy use Why it matters: Equipment is uncountable, and the chart attributes emissions to energy use rather than to a set of devices.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: use Suggested revision: uses Why it matters: The singular subject appliance requires the verb uses.
- 4. Use household terminology Original: energy required in an average family Suggested revision: energy used by an average household Why it matters: A household uses energy, whereas a family is not the unit described by the chart.
- 5. Clarify the categories Original: Cooking, standby and lighting all together Suggested revision: Cooking, standby power and lighting together Why it matters: Standby power names the chart category more precisely and together is sufficient.
- 6. Report the total accurately Original: utilise around 20% power Suggested revision: account for around 21% of energy use Why it matters: Cooking, standby power and lighting total 21% in the energy-use chart.
- 7. Match the chart label Original: refrigerators alone need 12% electricity Suggested revision: refrigeration accounts for 12% of energy use Why it matters: The chart reports refrigeration as a share of household energy use, not the percentage of refrigerators needing electricity.
- 8. State the exact remainder Original: the rest of the one-quarter energy share Suggested revision: the remaining 24% of energy use Why it matters: Other appliances account for 24% rather than an unspecified remainder of one quarter.
- 9. Use the prompt scope Original: state Suggested revision: country Why it matters: The prompt refers to a country, so state changes the geographical scope.
- 10. Fix the exception phrase Original: with the exception of heating and cooling device Suggested revision: except for heating and cooling Why it matters: The category is heating and cooling, and device is an incorrect singular label here.
- 11. Use singular percentage Original: highest percentages of greenhouse gas Suggested revision: highest percentage of greenhouse-gas emissions Why it matters: One category has the single highest percentage, and emissions is the measured quantity.
- 12. Match the category Original: heaters Suggested revision: heating Why it matters: The chart labels the energy-use category water heating rather than water heaters.
Suggested Rewrites
- the percentages of greenhouse effects the percentage of greenhouse-gas emissions
- these power-consuming equipment this energy use
- use uses
- energy required in an average family energy used by an average household
- Cooking, standby and lighting all together Cooking, standby power and lighting together
- utilise around 20% power account for around 21% of energy use
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects nearly all major figures and makes useful comparisons, especially between energy use and emissions for heating, water heating, and the smaller categories. Its main limitation is recurring imprecise or unnatural wording, which sometimes obscures otherwise accurate observations, while the single long body paragraph also weakens progression. Prioritise precise chart terminology and collocations, then separate energy-use details from emissions comparisons into clearly organised paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately covers nearly all major proportions and comparisons, although the general correlation claim is oversimplified.
Describe the relationship between energy use and emissions more cautiously, highlighting the contrasting heating and cooling figures without implying a universal pattern.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report moves broadly from energy consumption to emissions, but repeated ideas and a single long body paragraph weaken progression.
Use separate detail paragraphs for energy use and greenhouse-gas emissions, with each paragraph built around clear comparisons.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the task, but recurring imprecise collocations such as greenhouse effects, dangerous gases, and attribute to reduce accuracy.
Use standard chart language such as greenhouse-gas emissions, accounts for, and contributes to, and avoid vague device labels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences, though agreement, article, and singular-plural errors recur without usually obscuring meaning.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun forms carefully, especially after plural subjects such as appliances, equipment, and devices.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The first pie chart shows how energy is used in an average house in a European country. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions from this energy use in this country.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.