The first pie chart shows how energy is used in an average house in a European country. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions from this energy use in this country.
Sample Response
The first pie chart illustrates the average energy usage in a typical family in a European country while the second pie chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions from this energy consumption.
As a general trend, water heating and heating & cooling systems require the highest energy in the households in this country, and these areas of use also produce the highest percentage of greenhouse gas for this country.
According to the first pie chart, the water heating system consumes more than 20% of total energy consumption in a household while the heating and cooling systems require one-fifth of the total energy. Refrigeration consumes 12% energy which is higher than that of energy requirement for cooking and lighting. Finally, 5% of energy is consumed in standby mode and the remaining 24% energy is required for all other household appliances.
As the second pie chart suggests, heating and cooling systems contribute to the highest percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which is 38%. Water heaters, though require more energy than heating and cooling, emit comparatively lesser greenhouse gas (25%). These two systems produce the highest percentage of greenhouse gas in this country. Cooking, lighting and refrigeration generate 18% greenhouse gas in total, and all other appliances and standby modes generate 19% greenhouse gases.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use household energy phrase Original: average energy usage in a typical family Suggested revision: average household energy use Why it matters: Household energy use is the natural and precise term for what the chart measures.
- 2. State exact water share Original: more than 20% of total energy consumption Suggested revision: 23% of total household energy use Why it matters: The chart provides the exact water-heating proportion of 23%, so reporting it improves precision.
- 3. Add percentage preposition Original: 12% energy Suggested revision: 12% of household energy Why it matters: A percentage is followed by of before the quantity being measured.
- 4. Make comparison parallel Original: higher than that of energy requirement for cooking and lighting Suggested revision: higher than the proportions used for cooking and lighting Why it matters: The revision compares the refrigeration proportion with parallel percentage categories.
- 5. Add percentage preposition Original: the remaining 24% energy Suggested revision: the remaining 24% of energy Why it matters: The percentage requires of before the noun energy.
- 6. Use share collocation Original: contribute to the highest percentage Suggested revision: account for the largest share Why it matters: Account for the largest share is the natural phrase for the leading emissions category.
- 7. Add concessive subject Original: though require more energy than heating and cooling Suggested revision: though they require more energy than heating and cooling Why it matters: The concessive clause requires the explicit subject they.
- 8. Use emissions comparison Original: comparatively lesser greenhouse gas Suggested revision: comparatively fewer greenhouse gas emissions Why it matters: Fewer correctly modifies the plural count noun emissions, while lesser is unsuitable here.
- 9. Complete emissions percentage Original: 18% greenhouse gas in total Suggested revision: 18% of greenhouse gas emissions in total Why it matters: The percentage requires of, and emissions is the appropriate plural noun.
- 10. Use concise source phrase Original: from this energy consumption Suggested revision: resulting from this energy use Why it matters: The revision is more concise and links the emissions directly to the energy use shown.
- 11. Match chart category Original: the water heating system Suggested revision: water heating Why it matters: Using the chart's category label is more concise and avoids implying a specific appliance.
- 12. Use category label Original: the heating and cooling systems Suggested revision: heating and cooling Why it matters: The singular chart category is more accurately expressed without systems.
Suggested Rewrites
- average energy usage in a typical family average household energy use
- more than 20% of total energy consumption 23% of total household energy use
- 12% energy 12% of household energy
- higher than that of energy requirement for cooking and lighting higher than the proportions used for cooking and lighting
- the remaining 24% energy the remaining 24% of energy
- contribute to the highest percentage account for the largest share
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report is well organized, includes a clear overview, and accurately presents most key figures and combined totals from both charts. Its main limitation is that the overview overlooks other appliances as the largest energy-use category and instead treats water heating and heating/cooling as the highest users, while several awkward comparative and percentage constructions reduce precision. Prioritize an exact overview and cleaner quantity and comparison phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response covers both charts, selects most key figures accurately, and makes useful comparisons, but its overview overlooks other appliances as the largest energy-use category.
Revise the overview to identify other appliances at 24% as the largest energy user while retaining heating and cooling as the largest emissions source.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from an introduction and overview to separate, well-focused detail paragraphs for the two charts.
Use reference and linking phrases more selectively to reduce repetition of country and greenhouse gas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough to describe consumption, proportions, and emissions, though phrases such as highest energy, 12% energy, and comparatively lesser greenhouse gas are imprecise.
Use standard quantitative collocations such as largest share of energy, 12% of energy use, and lower emissions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates clearly, but article, clause, and comparison errors recur in phrases such as though require and higher than that of energy requirement.
Practise concessive clauses with explicit subjects and build comparisons around parallel noun phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The first pie chart shows how energy is used in an average house in a European country. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions from this energy use in this country.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.