The diagram below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the construction of new houses in two cities—Derby and Nottingham—from 2000 to 2009two cities - Derby and Nottingham, from 2000 to 2009. Generally speaking, the number of new homes in these two cities rose overall but fluctuatedincreased steadily through the years and Derby ended up recordinginhabitants of Derby end up building more housesabodes in the final year after also leading by a wide margin in the previous yeardespite a considerable gap in the previous year. As the data showsuggest, about 90 housesaround 95 residences were built in these two cities in 2000 and 50 of them were builtestablished in Nottingham. In 2002, about 80 housesroughly 70 further houses were builtcame into existence in Derby which was four times Nottingham's figurewhich was considerably higher than the development of new abodes in Nottingham. Derby's figure rose to 120 in 2003 and then remained level through 2005This trend continued until 2005. In 2006Next year, almost no new houses were built in Nottingham but Derby witnessed the creation of almost 110 new homes. In 2007, a reverse case was obvious when around 190 brand new buildings were made in Nottingham compared to just over 100 in Derby. Building new homes in 2008 showed another anomaly when only about 10 housesan ignorable number of new homes were developed in Nottingham against nearly 280 brand new houses in Derby. In the final year, 250 new dwellings were added to Nottingham city while almost 350 were developed for Derby residents.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response follows the period chronologically and selects several important contrasts, especially the sharp changes from 2006 onward. However, its claim that both cities rose steadily is inaccurate for Nottingham, and the middle years are compressed so heavily that an important fluctuating pattern is lost. Replace the misleading overview with the distinct overall trajectories, then support it with clearer grouping of the early and late periods.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several key figures and reversals are reported accurately, but the overview misrepresents Nottingham as rising steadily and coverage of 2001 to 2005 is limited.
Summarise Derby's plateau followed by a surge and Nottingham's pronounced fluctuations, then include representative figures from the underdeveloped middle years.
Coherence and Cohesion
Chronological sequencing and time references make the report easy to follow, though presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens the organisation of its comparisons.
Separate the overview and divide the details into 2000 to 2005 and 2006 to 2009 paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of vocabulary for quantities and buildings, but several ambitious synonyms and collocations sound unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer precise forms such as houses were built and a negligible number rather than came into existence, were made, or an ignorable number.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence forms is generally controlled, with only occasional tense, punctuation, and phrasing errors that do not impede meaning.
Maintain consistent past-tense reporting and use commas more carefully around subordinate and relative clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.