The process shows how plants create food. The process describes how plants produce food for themselves. The whole process entails seven steps starting from rainfall and ending in the production of sugar which is then converted to starch and used for the growth and repair of the plant.
Sample Response
In the first place, the root of the tree is wet by the fall of the rain, which activates the minerals in the soil to move up across the root unto the leaves of the plant. At this point, the plant, through its own natural process for the exchange of gases, takes in carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.
In the final stage of food production, the appearance of the sunlight helps in the exchange of gases, whereas taking in carbon dioxide and giving out oxygen into the atmosphere, which is used by humans. After this, there is the production of sugar by the leaves, which is then converted to starch and used b the plant for growth and the repair of its leaves.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Show simultaneous input Original: At this point Suggested revision: At the same time Why it matters: The diagram presents carbon dioxide as another input rather than a strictly later stage.
- 2. Remove vague wording Original: the plant, through its own natural process for the exchange of gases, Suggested revision: the plant Why it matters: This long phrase is vague and unnecessary because the following verb already states the action.
- 3. Clarify the result Original: After this Suggested revision: As a result Why it matters: Sugar production is an outcome of the preceding inputs rather than merely the next event.
- 4. Use an active clause Original: there is the production of sugar by the leaves Suggested revision: the leaves produce sugar Why it matters: An active subject and verb make the process stage direct and grammatical.
- 5. Correct the typo Original: b Suggested revision: by Why it matters: The passive construction requires the preposition by.
- 6. Match the diagram Original: the repair of its leaves Suggested revision: repair Why it matters: The visual says starch supports growth and repair generally, without limiting repair to the leaves.
- 7. Use plural roots Original: the root of the tree Suggested revision: the plant's roots Why it matters: A plant takes up water through its root system rather than one tree root.
- 8. Describe water uptake Original: is wet by the fall of the rain Suggested revision: absorbs water from rainfall Why it matters: The diagram shows water entering the plant rather than rain merely wetting a root.
- 9. Correct mineral uptake Original: activates the minerals in the soil Suggested revision: allows minerals from the soil Why it matters: Minerals are absorbed from the soil; the diagram does not show rainfall activating them.
- 10. Fix the pathway Original: move up across the root Suggested revision: enter through the roots Why it matters: Through correctly describes movement into the plant via its roots.
- 11. Complete the coordination Original: unto the leaves Suggested revision: and reach the leaves Why it matters: This coordinates the two movement verbs and removes the archaic preposition unto.
- 12. Use a precise verb Original: takes in carbon dioxide Suggested revision: absorbs carbon dioxide Why it matters: Absorbs is a more precise process verb for the plant's intake of carbon dioxide.
Suggested Rewrites
- At this point At the same time
- the plant, through its own natural process for the exchange of gases, the plant
- After this As a result
- there is the production of sugar by the leaves the leaves produce sugar
- b by
- the repair of its leaves repair
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response communicates a broadly understandable sequence and mentions nearly all the inputs and outputs shown, including water, minerals, carbon dioxide, sunlight, oxygen, sugar, and starch. Its main limitation is that it is under length and offers no clear overview, while some stage relationships are expressed inaccurately or vaguely. The highest priority is to add a concise overview and explain each input and output in a precise, logically ordered sequence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies most visual elements but lacks an overview, falls below the required length, and explains some relationships imprecisely.
Add a clear overall summary and describe the process accurately from water and mineral uptake through photosynthesis to starch formation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two paragraphs broadly follow the process, but the jump to the final stage and repeated discussion of gas exchange weaken progression.
Organise the description in a continuous stage-by-stage sequence and use linking expressions that show how each input leads to the next output.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to describe the process, although awkward combinations such as 'wet by the fall of the rain' reduce precision.
Use more natural process language, such as 'absorbs water and minerals' and 'converts sugar into starch,' while avoiding unnecessary repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses some complex structures, but faulty clause construction, unclear relative clauses, and a spelling error reduce control.
Practise complete subordinate clauses and check pronoun references so that each cause-and-effect relationship is grammatically clear.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The process shows how plants create food. The process describes how plants produce food for themselves. The whole process entails seven steps starting from rainfall and ending in the production of sugar which is then converted to starch and used for the growth and repair of the plant.
Your response
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