The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries.
Sample Response
The presented chart gives information on the challenges the different age groups of people face when immigrating to another country.
As is presented, the three most common challenges all age groups face are making friends, finding a place to live and learning the local dialect. The biggest difficulty the age group of people aged over 55 faces is learning the local language as compared to the other age groups, who don’t find it as difficult. It is surprising to find that both age groups of 18-34 and 35-54 have challenges in finding a place to settle. It is easier for the age group of over 55 to find a place to settle as they do not have to take many factors into consideration when deciding where to settle, for example, finding a place close to work, what kind of neighbourhood is good for bringing up a family, what public facilities are available in the area, access to the internet etc. But they don’t have a hard time making friends as it is probably easier for them to do when still young.
To summarise, according to this chart, it is easier to go and live in another country while you are still young rather than when you are over the age of 55 as it is more difficult for you to adapt to the new culture and customs in a new country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise reporting verb Original: gives information on Suggested revision: provides information about Why it matters: The revision is a more natural formal collocation for describing a chart.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: the different age groups of people Suggested revision: different age groups Why it matters: “Age groups” already refers to groups of people, so the extra words are unnecessary.
- 3. Match the task wording Original: immigrating Suggested revision: moving Why it matters: The revision closely reflects the chart’s general focus on going to live abroad.
- 4. Use direct chart reference Original: As is presented Suggested revision: The chart shows that Why it matters: A direct reference introduces the reported information more clearly.
- 5. Avoid unsupported ranking Original: three most common challenges Suggested revision: three challenges shown Why it matters: The chart displays three selected challenges but does not establish that they are the three most common overall.
- 6. Improve clause structure Original: all age groups face Suggested revision: faced by all age groups Why it matters: The passive phrase connects the challenges to the age groups more smoothly.
- 7. Fix age-group phrase Original: both age groups of 18-34 and 35-54 Suggested revision: both the 18–34 and 35–54 age groups Why it matters: This structure coordinates the two age ranges correctly.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: It is easier for the age group of over 55 to find a place to settle as they do not have to take many factors into consideration when deciding where to settle, for example, finding a place close to work, what kind of neighbourhood is good for bringing up a family, what public facilities are available in the area, access to the internet etc. Suggested revision: Finding accommodation affected 40% of 18–34-year-olds and 39% of 35–54-year-olds, compared with 22% of those over 55. Why it matters: The chart supports the percentage contrast but provides none of the proposed reasons for it.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: But they don’t have a hard time making friends as it is probably easier for them to do when still young. Suggested revision: The over-55 group also reported the lowest proportion for difficulty making friends, at 23%. Why it matters: The original reason is unsupported and contradicts its reference to people over 55, whereas the chart provides a clear figure.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: To summarise, according to this chart, it is easier to go and live in another country while you are still young rather than when you are over the age of 55 as it is more difficult for you to adapt to the new culture and customs in a new country. Suggested revision: Overall, younger adults reported greater difficulty making friends and finding accommodation, whereas language was by far the largest challenge for those over 55. Why it matters: The chart does not measure overall ease of migration, culture, or customs, so the conclusion should summarise the visible contrasts.
Suggested Rewrites
- gives information on provides information about
- the different age groups of people different age groups
- immigrating moving
- As is presented The chart shows that
- three most common challenges three challenges shown
- all age groups face faced by all age groups
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly organised and uses a reasonably varied vocabulary to identify the three challenges and the especially high language difficulty among people over 55. However, it omits every percentage and replaces important comparisons with unsupported speculation, leading to a questionable conclusion that moving abroad is generally easier when young. Prioritise precise data comparisons across age groups and remove causal explanations not shown by the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Some broad patterns are identified, but no percentages are reported, key contrasts are underdeveloped, and much of the response speculates beyond the chart.
Report and compare the figures for each challenge across the three age groups, avoiding explanations or conclusions unsupported by the data.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, main discussion, and conclusion create a clear overall structure, but a long speculative section and an unclear pronoun reference weaken progression.
Organise the body around two or three direct numerical comparisons and ensure every pronoun has an unmistakable referent.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with effective items such as "immigrating," "neighbourhood," and "adapt," despite some repetition and imprecision.
Prefer exact chart terms such as "local language" and vary repeated references to age groups without sacrificing clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of complex structures with generally clear meaning, though several awkward constructions and reference errors reduce accuracy.
Simplify overloaded sentences and revise phrases such as "the age group of over 55" to "people aged over 55."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.