The chart below shows the unemployment rate and the number of people leaving Ireland from 1988 to 2008.
Sample Response
The graph illustrates the comparisons among the Unemployment rate and group of people leaving Ireland between 1988 and 2008. Overall, the jobless rate and people who disappear from Ireland are at the peak in the year 1998 and then over a span of 20 years, the unwaged rate decreases drastically and at the same time group, people leaving Ireland also declined.
In 1998, unemployment rate and number of people leaving Ireland which is accounted for 16% and around 60,000 people respectively and then shows fluctuations in jobless rate until 1994, after that sudden decline in the rate from 1996 to 2008
On the other hand, group of people evacuates from Ireland is at highest in the year 1998 and then gradually decreases from 60,000 in 1998 to around 25,000 in 2002, after that there was a sudden increase in the last 6 year periods which is accounted around 50,000 people in 2008
To sum up, over a span of 20 years unemployment rate decreased around 10% whereas the number of people leaving Ireland also declined by around 40,000 people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct relationship Original: comparisons among Suggested revision: relationship between Why it matters: The graph presents two measures, so between is required and relationship is more natural.
- 2. Fix capitalization Original: Unemployment Suggested revision: unemployment Why it matters: Unemployment is a common noun and should not be capitalized here.
- 3. Add article and measure Original: and group of people Suggested revision: and the number of people Why it matters: A countable group needs an article, and number matches the graph's measure.
- 4. Use accurate term Original: people who disappear from Ireland Suggested revision: people leaving Ireland Why it matters: Disappear inaccurately changes the meaning of emigration shown in the chart.
- 5. Correct peak year Original: are at the peak in the year 1998 Suggested revision: reached their highest levels in 1988 Why it matters: Both series are highest at the beginning of the chart in 1988.
- 6. Use chart label Original: unwaged Suggested revision: unemployment Why it matters: Unemployment rate is the precise measure named on the chart.
- 7. Keep past tense Original: decreases Suggested revision: decreased Why it matters: The report describes a completed historical period, so the verb should be in the past tense.
- 8. Repair noun phrase Original: at the same time group, people leaving Ireland Suggested revision: the number of people leaving Ireland Why it matters: The original phrase has an unnecessary comma and lacks a grammatical subject.
- 9. Correct starting year Original: 1998 Suggested revision: 1988 Why it matters: The initial values described occur in 1988 rather than 1998.
- 10. Use a finite verb Original: which is accounted for Suggested revision: were Why it matters: The sentence needs a plural finite verb linking the two subjects to their values.
- 11. Correct initial rate Original: 16% Suggested revision: about 17% Why it matters: The unemployment rate starts at approximately 17% in 1988.
- 12. Correct initial total Original: around 60,000 people respectively Suggested revision: about 65,000 people, respectively Why it matters: The emigration series begins at roughly 65,000, and respectively should be set off by a comma.
Suggested Rewrites
- comparisons among relationship between
- Unemployment unemployment
- and group of people and the number of people
- people who disappear from Ireland people leaving Ireland
- are at the peak in the year 1998 reached their highest levels in 1988
- unwaged unemployment
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies the broad long-term decline in both measures and separates the two series into a recognisable structure. Its main limitation is severe factual inaccuracy, especially repeatedly treating 1998 as the starting peak instead of 1988 and misstating the size of the fall in emigration. The highest priority is to verify dates, units, endpoints, and turning points before writing the overview and details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response recognises the overall declines and the later rise in emigration, but repeated date and value errors make several central features unreliable.
Correct the peak year to 1988, distinguish the two axes, and report the main turning points and endpoint changes with accurate figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
An overview and separate detail paragraphs provide a basic progression, but repetition, run-on sentences, and unclear references weaken cohesion.
Organise each series chronologically in complete sentences and use clear references to specific years rather than vague phrases such as after that.
Lexical Resource
There is some vocabulary for trends, but frequent inappropriate choices such as people disappear, unwaged rate, and evacuates make the description imprecise.
Use accurate neutral terms such as unemployment rate, people leaving Ireland, fell, fluctuated, and rose.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some sentence forms convey the main trends, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, tense, clause structure, and sentence completion reduce clarity.
Write complete subject-verb clauses for each trend and check agreement and tense before combining ideas into longer sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the unemployment rate and the number of people leaving Ireland from 1988 to 2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.