The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
Sample Response
The provided map reveals the dramatic changes in a small island that had been developed to add a number of facilities, especially for the visiting tourists. Before the renovation, this place was surrounded by sea and small beach without any building and tourist facility. East and west of the island had some coconut trees while the rest of it was only an open space. After the construction and development, the island became very dense and useful with its infrastructure and accommodation. Some bungalows were built in the middle of the land and some others near the beach in the west. The constructor also facilitated small footpath and a tourist can easily walk through it to reach the cottage and the beach. In the southern part, a pier was constructed for landing boats and it ended with the vehicle track, leading directly to the reception and the restaurant. Activities like swimming are now available in the beach area while the open space in the east of the island remained unchanged.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural agreement Original: map reveals Suggested revision: maps reveal Why it matters: The task contains two maps, so both the noun and verb should be plural.
- 2. Use the right preposition Original: changes in a small island Suggested revision: changes on a small island Why it matters: Changes to features located on an island are described as changes 'on' the island.
- 3. Correct the tense Original: had been developed Suggested revision: was developed Why it matters: The simple passive accurately describes the completed development between the two maps.
- 4. Remove wordiness Original: especially for the visiting tourists Suggested revision: for visiting tourists Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same purpose more directly.
- 5. Fix the coordination Original: surrounded by sea and small beach Suggested revision: surrounded by the sea and had a small beach Why it matters: The beach is part of the island rather than something that surrounds it, and both nouns need clear grammatical roles.
- 6. Use plural facilities Original: without any building and tourist facility Suggested revision: without any buildings or tourist facilities Why it matters: Plural count nouns and 'or' are required after 'without any' in this list.
- 7. Form location phrases Original: East and west of the island Suggested revision: The eastern and western parts of the island Why it matters: The sentence needs noun phrases naming the two parts of the island as its subject.
- 8. Avoid unsupported detail Original: coconut trees Suggested revision: trees Why it matters: The map marks trees but does not identify them specifically as coconut trees.
- 9. Use natural map language Original: was only an open space Suggested revision: was otherwise open Why it matters: 'Was otherwise open' describes undeveloped land more naturally in this context.
- 10. Use objective description Original: very dense and useful Suggested revision: much more developed Why it matters: 'Dense' and 'useful' are vague evaluations rather than objective descriptions of the mapped changes.
- 11. Use precise location Original: middle of the land Suggested revision: centre of the island Why it matters: 'Centre of the island' is the clearer spatial expression for this map.
- 12. Describe added paths Original: The constructor also facilitated small footpath Suggested revision: The development also included footpaths Why it matters: A development, not a 'constructor', can be said to include the footpaths shown on the map.
Suggested Rewrites
- map reveals maps reveal
- changes in a small island changes on a small island
- had been developed was developed
- especially for the visiting tourists for visiting tourists
- surrounded by sea and small beach surrounded by the sea and had a small beach
- without any building and tourist facility without any buildings or tourist facilities
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear before-and-after account and covers nearly all major additions, including accommodation, paths, the pier, reception, restaurant, and swimming area. Its main weakness is imprecise or unnatural language, particularly descriptions such as the island becoming 'dense and useful' and a constructor facilitating a path. The highest-priority improvement is to group the changes into a sharper overview and describe locations and transport links with more accurate map vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main transformation and most significant facilities are accurately described, with a relevant overview and only minor imprecision.
Make the overview more specific by contrasting the developed western and central areas with the largely unchanged eastern end.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the original island to its developed state, but the single dense paragraph limits clear grouping.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs covering accommodation and access on one hand and communal facilities on the other.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of map and development vocabulary, though several collocations and labels are awkward or inaccurate.
Replace vague phrases with precise terms such as accommodation huts, footpaths, vehicle track, and tourist facilities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted successfully, but recurring article, preposition, agreement, and tense errors reduce control.
Edit noun phrases for articles and number, and maintain consistent past tense when describing changes shown on the completed map.
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