The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and 2010.
Sample Response
The provided map displays how an American town transformed, by providing how it looked in two different years - 1948 and 2010. A quick look suggests that with the exception of the town's southeast residential area, new structures have been built and changes have been made, but the overall area neither expanded nor contracted. To begin with, it can be seen that the factories on the north-east corner were demolished to build an airport and several commercial buildings. Similarly, a supermarket replaced a lake which had been next to the factories. It is also worth noticing that four commercial buildings were also constructed on the southwest of the new supermarket. They were located on both sides of a big road, with two on each side. A church in the south direction back in 1948 was replaced by a sports stadium in 2010. On the other hand, several features of this town did not change throughout the period. The natural elements, a canal and trees to be specific, remain untouched. The road system did not change either, with 2 small and 2 big roads. Additionally, the petrol station in the north was kept intact and so were residential houses on the bottom right corner, unlike those on the other side of the canal.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Awkward introduction Original: transformed, by providing how it looked Suggested revision: changed between Why it matters: The phrase by providing how it looked is unnatural in this context.
- 2. Qualify overview Original: with the exception of the town's southeast residential area Suggested revision: with some residential housing in the southeast remaining Why it matters: Some other features, including the petrol station and roads, also remained.
- 3. Use compound form Original: north-east corner Suggested revision: northeast corner Why it matters: Either form is understandable, but the single-word form is common in map descriptions.
- 4. Check feature Original: a supermarket replaced a lake Suggested revision: a supermarket was built near the former central open area Why it matters: The 1948 feature appears as a pond or open leisure area, not clearly a lake.
- 5. Location phrase Original: on the southwest of the new supermarket Suggested revision: to the southwest of the new supermarket Why it matters: Use to the southwest when describing relative location.
- 6. Natural direction Original: in the south direction Suggested revision: to the south Why it matters: This is the natural map phrase.
- 7. Overgeneralised detail Original: trees to be specific, remain untouched Suggested revision: the canal and many trees remained Why it matters: The maps show many trees still present, but not necessarily every tree untouched.
- 8. Map register Original: bottom right corner Suggested revision: southeast corner Why it matters: Compass directions are more formal and precise for maps.
- 9. Rewrite opening Original: The provided map displays how an American town transformed, by providing how it looked in two different years - 1948 and 2010. Suggested revision: The maps show how an American town changed between 1948 and 2010. Why it matters: This is clearer and avoids awkward phrasing.
- 10. Sharper overview Original: A quick look suggests that with the exception of the town's southeast residential area, new structures have been built and changes have been made, but the overall area neither expanded nor contracted. Suggested revision: Overall, the town was substantially redeveloped, especially in the north and west, while the road layout, canal, petrol station, and southeast housing largely remained in place. Why it matters: This captures both change and continuity more accurately.
- 11. Natural map sentence Original: A church in the south direction back in 1948 was replaced by a sports stadium in 2010. Suggested revision: The church to the south of the canal was replaced by a sports stadium in 2010. Why it matters: This uses more precise location language.
- 12. Avoid absolute claim Original: The natural elements, a canal and trees to be specific, remain untouched. Suggested revision: The canal remained in the same position, and many trees were still shown along the roads. Why it matters: This is safer than saying all natural elements were untouched.
Suggested Rewrites
- transformed, by providing how it looked changed between
- with the exception of the town's southeast residential area with some residential housing in the southeast remaining
- north-east corner northeast corner
- a supermarket replaced a lake a supermarket was built near the former central open area
- on the southwest of the new supermarket to the southwest of the new supermarket
- in the south direction to the south
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview of the town's redevelopment and correctly identifies many major changes, including the replacement of factories with an airport and commercial buildings, the new supermarket, and the sports stadium. A few details are slightly inaccurate or overgeneralised, especially the claim that trees remained untouched and the description of the lake.
Keep the strong overview, but qualify unchanged features more carefully and describe only changes clearly visible in both maps.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organisation is logical, moving from an overview to changes and then unchanged features. The lack of paragraph breaks weakens presentation slightly, but progression and referencing are clear.
Use three paragraphs: overview, changed features, and features that remained.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally suitable for map comparison, including transformed, demolished, replaced, constructed, and kept intact. Some phrases are awkward, such as by providing how it looked and in the south direction.
Use more natural map language such as to the south, in the northeast, remained in place, and was replaced by.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of structures with generally good control. Errors with tense consistency, prepositions, and article choice occur but do not obscure meaning.
Maintain past tense for 1948 and 2010 changes, and use precise prepositions for locations.