The map below shows the changes in an American town between 1948 and 2010.
Sample Response
The given illustration compares the map of an American town in 2010 with that of 1948. Analyzing the town in both 1948 and 2010, it is obvious that despite some general changes like the relocation of buildings or the establishment of new facilities, its main structure remained almost the same. As can be seen, residential apartments in the south-east corner of the town were untouched, and it is the same for the streets of the town and the canal. Moreover, the trees of the town were not chopped-down for new constructions. It is worth noticing that the petrol station down the streets, which run south-west to north-east, was not demolished or repositioned. Looking further at the maps, many changes took place during the period. The supermarket was relocated and the church was demolished to make way for a sports stadium. The residential houses located at the corner of the main streets were knocked down in order to build two commercial structures. Furthermore, in 2010 there is an airport, located in the eastern part, the place where four factories were running in 1948. The presence of commercial buildings in 2010 is noticeable while houses and factories were predominant in 1948’s map.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Inaccurate overview Original: its main structure remained almost the same Suggested revision: the road and canal layout remained, but land use changed substantially Why it matters: The maps show extensive redevelopment despite the retained transport layout.
- 2. Wrong feature label Original: residential apartments Suggested revision: residential houses Why it matters: The map labels these buildings as houses, not apartments.
- 3. Concise link Original: and it is the same for Suggested revision: as were Why it matters: This produces a more compact comparison.
- 4. Unsupported claim Original: the trees of the town were not chopped-down Suggested revision: trees remained along several roads Why it matters: Some trees remain, but the maps do not support saying none were removed.
- 5. Location phrase Original: down the streets Suggested revision: beside the road Why it matters: This is the natural spatial expression.
- 6. Tense consistency Original: which run south-west to north-east Suggested revision: which ran from south-west to north-east Why it matters: Past tense matches the historical map description.
- 7. Sharper transition Original: Looking further at the maps Suggested revision: By contrast, several sites were redeveloped Why it matters: The replacement makes the paragraph's organising contrast explicit.
- 8. Exact feature Original: two commercial structures Suggested revision: commercial buildings Why it matters: Use the label shown on the 2010 map.
- 9. Historical tense Original: in 2010 there is an airport Suggested revision: by 2010 an airport had been built Why it matters: Past perfect clearly expresses the completed change.
- 10. Map collocation Original: the place where four factories were running Suggested revision: on the former factory site Why it matters: Factories do not normally run in map descriptions.
- 11. Natural form Original: 1948’s map Suggested revision: the 1948 map Why it matters: A year does not need a possessive here.
- 12. Use plural map label Original: The given illustration Suggested revision: The two maps Why it matters: Two time-point maps are being compared, so the plural label is more precise.
Suggested Rewrites
- its main structure remained almost the same the road and canal layout remained, but land use changed substantially
- residential apartments residential houses
- and it is the same for as were
- the trees of the town were not chopped-down trees remained along several roads
- down the streets beside the road
- which run south-west to north-east which ran from south-west to north-east
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies most of the major replacements and retained features, and it is organised into a clear overview followed by detail. Its main limitation is visual precision: the claim that the town’s main structure and trees remained almost unchanged understates substantial redevelopment, while a few location descriptions are awkward. Prioritise a more accurate overview and exact map-based wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Most key changes and several unchanged features are covered, but the overview understates the scale of redevelopment and the claim about trees is not fully supported.
Summarise the dominant shift from residential and industrial uses to commercial, transport and leisure facilities, then select exact supporting features.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from overview and unchanged features to changes, though all content is presented in one paragraph.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, grouping retained features apart from replacements.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of map vocabulary, but several collocations and location phrases are unnatural.
Use precise forms such as remained unchanged, along the road, and on the 1948 map.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is generally controlled, with occasional tense, article and hyphenation problems.
Keep past tense consistent when describing completed changes and check compound forms.