The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas.
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the population growth in five large cities between 1970 and 2010 while the table lists down the five most populous cities in the world both in 1950 and 2010. In addition, the line graph analyses the global population in rural and urban areas.
Overall, Tokyo had the largest population in 2010 but the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta outranked other cities. Finally, more people started to live in cities after 2005 despite a different scenario in earlier years.
As the data suggests, Tokyo had over 15 million residents in 1970 which was three and five times higher than that of Bombay and Jakarta respectively. New York and Shanghai had approximately 14 and 12 million inhabitants in this year. After two decades, New York witnessed a meagre population growth while it was dramatic both in Jakarta and Bombay. It is evident that population growth in Jakarta and Bombay exceeded all other cities.
In 1950, New York, London, Tokyo, Paris and Moskow were the top five populous cities in the world. In 2010 Bombay, Lagos, Shanghai and Jakarta ranked in the list by eliminating all other cites except Tokyo which stood first on the chart with over 27 million citizens.
Finally, the global urban population in 1980 was below 2 billion while 3 billion lived in villages. The population in cities grew steadily and went over 4 billion in 2010 at which point 3 billion global population resided in rural areas.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise verb Original: lists down Suggested revision: lists Why it matters: The verb "list" does not take "down" in this formal description.
- 2. Place both correctly Original: both in 1950 and 2010 Suggested revision: in both 1950 and 2010 Why it matters: Place "both" directly before the two coordinated years.
- 3. Chart shows data Original: analyses Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: A graph presents information; it does not itself perform an analysis.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: largest Suggested revision: highest Why it matters: "Highest population" is the more natural collocation for a numerical comparison.
- 5. Compare growth clearly Original: the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta outranked other cities Suggested revision: the populations of Bombay and Jakarta grew more than those of the other cities Why it matters: Cities can outrank one another, but population growth should be compared by how much it increased.
- 6. Remove weak linker Original: Finally, more people Suggested revision: More people Why it matters: "Finally" does not express a logical relationship between the two overview points.
- 7. Use shown interval Original: after 2005 Suggested revision: between 2000 and 2010 Why it matters: The chart shows the crossover within this ten-year interval and does not label 2005.
- 8. State contrast directly Original: despite a different scenario in earlier years Suggested revision: whereas the rural population had been higher previously Why it matters: The revision makes the earlier urban-rural contrast explicit.
- 9. Use natural reference Original: in this year Suggested revision: that year Why it matters: "That year" is the natural way to refer back to 1970.
- 10. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it was dramatic both in Jakarta and Bombay Suggested revision: growth was dramatic in both Jakarta and Bombay Why it matters: The revision supplies a clear subject and places "both" correctly.
- 11. Use superlative form Original: top five populous cities Suggested revision: five most populous cities Why it matters: A ranking of five cities requires the superlative form "most populous".
- 12. Correct city spelling Original: Moskow Suggested revision: Moscow Why it matters: The city name is misspelled.
Suggested Rewrites
- lists down lists
- both in 1950 and 2010 in both 1950 and 2010
- analyses shows
- largest highest
- the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta outranked other cities the populations of Bombay and Jakarta grew more than those of the other cities
- Finally, more people More people
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response organizes the three visuals clearly and selects several important comparisons, with a recognizable overview and generally accurate figures. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally imprecise coverage, especially the omission of the 1990 series from the introduction, limited numerical support for the city rankings, and awkward wording of the urban-rural crossover. Prioritize a more precise overview and a balanced set of exact comparisons across every visual.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and several accurate comparisons, but it omits the 1990 timeframe in the introduction, gives sparse data for the rankings, and describes the urban-rural crossover imprecisely.
State that urban population overtook rural population between 2000 and 2010, and support each visual with a balanced selection of exact figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from the overview to the bar chart, rankings, and population distribution, with clear paragraph boundaries despite some mechanical repetition of 'Finally'.
Use more varied referencing and transitions, and make time links such as 'after two decades' explicitly identify the years being compared.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often specific, but several collocations and choices are awkward or inaccurate, including 'lists down', 'growth ... outranked', and 'ranked ... by eliminating'.
Prefer precise reporting phrases such as 'lists', 'recorded the fastest growth', and 'replaced the earlier cities in the top five'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentence forms is generally controlled, though errors in agreement, punctuation, and noun phrasing recur in places.
Check clause subjects and noun groups, revising phrases such as 'while it was dramatic both' and '3 billion global population' into complete, natural structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.