The figure shows the results of a survey of 1000 adolescents in five different countries. The participants were asked at what age they believed certain rights and responsibilities should be granted to young people.
Sample Response
The diagram describes a survey result of 1000 teenagers about at what age they should follow particular rights and responsibilities. The survey has been conducted in five different nationalities on three categories such as marriage, voting, and criminal responsibility. The survey result shows that American and Mexican participants have likely the same opinion. Americans agreed that marriage and voting right should be given at the same age (18) but criminal responsibility at a younger age. American teenagers believed that criminal responsibility should be given at about twelve years old. British and Japanese adolescents agreed that rights of marriage should be granted at an older age than other subjects. Afterwards, teenagers in the UK agreed that certain responsibilities should be granted within 18 years old but Japanese believe those should be suitable for over 18 years old. Only Egyptians agreed that voting should be granted at an older age than other categories. In short, all teenagers from five different countries have a different agreement of what age should the young people be granted on certain rights. Only Japanese believe that they should get those rights at above 18 years old while others within 18 years old.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural results Original: a survey result Suggested revision: survey results Why it matters: The figure contains multiple findings across countries and categories.
- 2. Fix embedded question Original: about at what age Suggested revision: on the ages at which Why it matters: An embedded question should not retain the direct-question word order after “about.”
- 3. Use grant terminology Original: follow particular rights and responsibilities Suggested revision: be granted particular rights and responsibilities Why it matters: People receive rights and responsibilities; they do not follow rights.
- 4. Use completed past event Original: has been conducted Suggested revision: was conducted Why it matters: The survey is a completed event associated with the displayed results.
- 5. Identify participant groups Original: in five different nationalities Suggested revision: among adolescents in five countries Why it matters: A survey is conducted among people, while nationalities are not locations.
- 6. Introduce complete category list Original: on three categories such as Suggested revision: on three areas: Why it matters: The list is exhaustive, so “such as” is inappropriate and a colon should introduce it.
- 7. Use precise respondent term Original: Americans agreed Suggested revision: American respondents believed Why it matters: The chart reports surveyed opinions rather than a formal agreement among all Americans.
- 8. Use plural rights Original: right Suggested revision: rights Why it matters: The established noun phrase is “voting rights.”
- 9. Complete contrast clause Original: but criminal responsibility at a younger age Suggested revision: while criminal responsibility should begin earlier Why it matters: The contrast needs its own finite verb to form a complete clause.
- 10. Describe starting age Original: should be given at about twelve years old Suggested revision: should begin at about age 12 Why it matters: Criminal responsibility begins at an age rather than being given to someone.
- 11. Use natural rights phrase Original: rights of marriage Suggested revision: the right to marry Why it matters: “The right to marry” is the standard expression.
- 12. Name compared categories Original: than other subjects Suggested revision: than the other responsibilities Why it matters: Marriage, voting and criminal responsibility are categories, not school subjects.
Suggested Rewrites
- a survey result survey results
- about at what age on the ages at which
- follow particular rights and responsibilities be granted particular rights and responsibilities
- has been conducted was conducted
- in five different nationalities among adolescents in five countries
- on three categories such as on three areas:
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response makes several relevant comparisons, especially for the USA and the older marriage ages preferred in the UK and Japan. Its main limitation is incomplete and inaccurate synthesis: Japan’s criminal-responsibility age is 18 rather than above 18, the UK marriage age is above 18, and Mexico receives little detail. Prioritise reporting the three values for each country systematically before drawing an overall cross-country conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several country patterns are correctly identified, but coverage is uneven and the final generalisation about ages above or below 18 is inaccurate.
Record all three values for each country and base the overview on supported patterns such as marriage usually receiving the highest age.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a broadly country-based sequence, but unclear references and a contradictory conclusion weaken overall progression.
Group countries by shared patterns and place a precise overview before the supporting country comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to address the topic, but frequent imprecise combinations such as ‘follow rights’ and ‘different agreement’ obscure meaning.
Use standard expressions including ‘grant rights’, ‘age of criminal responsibility’, ‘survey respondents’, and ‘preferred age’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent problems with word order, articles, tense, agreement, and indirect-question structures make several sentences difficult to follow.
Use direct comparison sentences with one country as the subject and avoid embedded questions such as ‘about at what age’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The figure shows the results of a survey of 1000 adolescents in five different countries. The participants were asked at what age they believed certain rights and responsibilities should be granted to young people.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.