The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Reasons why adult people decide to study (figures in percentages)
Sample Response
The diagrams illustrate the motive of adult education and how the course fees should be funded, according to the survey participants. Overall, it can be observed that the primary stirring factors for adults to study is their interest in subjects and to enhance their qualifications. The largest proportion of the people opined that individuals seeking for further studies should bear the cost. According to the data provided, we can clearly notice that 40% of the grown-ups continue their education due to their interest in subjects they study, while 38% enrol to gain qualifications. Whereas only one in five studies to improve their prospects of promotion, the same ratio enjoys learning. 22% continue their education because it is helpful for their running jobs. Finally, 12% study further to change their present jobs, and the remaining 9% study to interact with new people. Regarding the cost of the courses, 40% of the survey takers think that adult education cost should be paid by individuals. 35% believe their employers should take the responsibility and only one-fourth outlines that it should be collected from the taxpayers' money.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural purpose Original: the motive of adult education Suggested revision: the reasons for adult education Why it matters: Reasons for is more natural than motive of in this report.
- 2. Awkward phrase Original: primary stirring factors Suggested revision: main reasons Why it matters: Stirring factors is not a natural collocation here.
- 3. Verb pattern Original: individuals seeking for further studies Suggested revision: individuals seeking further study Why it matters: Seek does not take for in this structure.
- 4. Formal register Original: grown-ups Suggested revision: adults Why it matters: Adults is more appropriate for an academic report.
- 5. Plural reference Original: one in five studies Suggested revision: one in five adults study Why it matters: The sentence refers to survey respondents as a group.
- 6. Natural phrase Original: running jobs Suggested revision: current jobs Why it matters: Current jobs is the natural expression.
- 7. Plural noun phrase Original: adult education cost should be paid by individuals Suggested revision: adult education costs should be paid by individuals Why it matters: The general cost category should be plural.
- 8. Wrong verb Original: one-fourth outlines Suggested revision: one-quarter believe Why it matters: Outlines does not mean express an opinion in this context.
- 9. Rewrite overview Original: Overall, it can be observed that the primary stirring factors for adults to study is their interest in subjects and to enhance their qualifications. Suggested revision: Overall, the main reasons adults study are interest in the subject and gaining qualifications. Why it matters: This fixes the awkward phrase and agreement error.
- 10. Improve comparison Original: Whereas only one in five studies to improve their prospects of promotion, the same ratio enjoys learning. Suggested revision: One in five adults study either to improve promotion prospects or because they enjoy learning. Why it matters: The rewrite is more concise and grammatically stable.
- 11. Natural wording Original: 22% continue their education because it is helpful for their running jobs. Suggested revision: A further 22% continue their education because it is useful for their current jobs. Why it matters: This fixes the collocation around current jobs.
- 12. Fix final comparison Original: 35% believe their employers should take the responsibility and only one-fourth outlines that it should be collected from the taxpayers' money. Suggested revision: Meanwhile, 35% believe employers should contribute, and only one-quarter think the cost should be covered by taxpayers. Why it matters: This improves verb choice and grammar.
Suggested Rewrites
- the motive of adult education the reasons for adult education
- primary stirring factors main reasons
- individuals seeking for further studies individuals seeking further study
- grown-ups adults
- one in five studies one in five adults study
- running jobs current jobs
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response accurately reports the main reasons for adult study and the proposed cost-sharing proportions. It includes a clear overview and covers all major categories, though some descriptions could compare the mid-ranking reasons more explicitly.
Add one concise comparison showing that work-related reasons together form a substantial share, while meeting people is clearly the least common reason.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer is logically ordered, moving from overview to reasons and then cost sharing. It is coherent, but the single paragraph and one awkward whereas sentence reduce fluency.
Create separate paragraphs for the bar chart and pie chart, and make comparison sentences less crowded.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally varied, but some choices are unnatural or overly informal, such as grown-ups, running jobs, and stirring factors. The topic vocabulary is otherwise adequate.
Use neutral academic phrases such as main reasons, current jobs, respondents, and pay for the courses.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most meanings are clear, but there are errors with subject-verb agreement, verb patterns, articles, and prepositions. Complex sentences are attempted but not always controlled.
Check agreement after proportion and factors, and use pay for, seek further study, and current jobs.