The bar charts and line graph below show the results of a survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London think of the city. What are the best things about living in London? What are the worst things about living in London? Are these things a major problem in London? (% of people answering ‘yes’)
Sample Response
The illustration expresses the opinion of Londoners across three years about the paramount and poorest aspects of living in London. Overall, shopping, job, night life and places to visit were picked as the greatest things about living in London while cost, traffic jam and crime were picked as the vilest thing there. Interestingly, cross-cultural people and transport were voted both as good and bad aspects about this city. The highest percentage of Londoners, over 40%, believe that shopping experience in London is the best thing about living in this city. Around 35% of them picked employment facilities as the second most attractive aspects in London. Activities like night life, visiting places were mentioned by one-quarter of them as advantageous. On the contrary, half of them expressed their concerns about the cost of living. A similar presentence of the survey takers expressed traffic congestion as a hindrance for their living. Crime was another worst thing about London according to these survey participants. Interestingly, cross-culture and transports were both mentioned as great and worst thing about life in London. Finally, majority of the citizens expressed their apprehensions about litter, noise and air quality to be major issues.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Awkward phrasing Original: paramount and poorest aspects Suggested revision: best and worst aspects Why it matters: Use the simpler wording from the task for survey categories.
- 2. Category wording Original: job Suggested revision: job opportunities Why it matters: Match the chart label more accurately.
- 3. Spelling Original: night life Suggested revision: nightlife Why it matters: This is normally written as one word.
- 4. Overstated tone Original: vilest thing Suggested revision: worst things Why it matters: “Vilest” is too emotional for neutral data reporting.
- 5. Parallel phrasing Original: both as good and bad aspects Suggested revision: as both good and bad aspects Why it matters: Move “both” before the paired adjectives.
- 6. Word error Original: presentence Suggested revision: percentage Why it matters: “Presentence” is not the intended word here.
- 7. Uncountable noun Original: transports Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: Use “transport” as an uncountable category noun.
- 8. Plural agreement Original: worst thing about life Suggested revision: worst things about life Why it matters: The chart includes multiple negative aspects.
- 9. Article needed Original: majority of the citizens Suggested revision: the majority of citizens Why it matters: Use “the majority of” before a plural noun.
- 10. Rank problems Original: litter, noise and air quality Suggested revision: litter, air quality and noise Why it matters: The line graph shows litter highest, air quality second, and noise lowest.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Finally, majority of the citizens expressed their apprehensions about litter, noise and air quality to be major issues. Suggested revision: Finally, most respondents considered litter the biggest major problem, followed by air quality and then noise. Why it matters: This reflects the ranking shown in the line graph.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: The highest percentage of Londoners, over 40%, believe that shopping experience in London is the best thing about living in this city. Suggested revision: In all three years, the range of shops was the most commonly selected advantage, at just over 40%. Why it matters: This adds the time dimension and uses the chart category accurately.
Suggested Rewrites
- paramount and poorest aspects best and worst aspects
- job job opportunities
- night life nightlife
- vilest thing worst things
- both as good and bad aspects as both good and bad aspects
- presentence percentage
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report identifies the main positive and negative survey categories and mentions the problem line graph. It is limited by broad approximations, little year-by-year comparison, and incomplete coverage of the three major problems.
For each chart, compare Year 1, Year 2, and Year 3 trends and include the exact relative ranking of litter, air quality, and noise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer has an overview and moves from positives to negatives to problems, but it is compressed into one paragraph and some comparisons are underdeveloped.
Separate the response into an overview, best/worst features, and major problems so each visual receives enough space.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range, but several choices are awkward or inaccurate, such as “vilest thing”, “presentence”, and “paramount”.
Use neutral reporting vocabulary and avoid dramatic synonyms that distort the survey tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are understandable, but plural agreement, article use, and phrasing errors appear regularly.
Check countable plural nouns, especially after “one of”, “the majority of”, and category labels.