The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012.
Sample Response
The provided bar charts demonstrate the number of people who visited three different museums, the national gallery, the British Museum and Victoria and Albert Museum in London from 2007 to 2012, given the number was on millions and bases on a yearly basis.
Overall, visitors number was rose year by year in the national gallery while we can clearly see small and slowly fluctuation for two other museum.
For British museum, in 2007 had 12 million travellers, and became half after a single year and remained the same number till 2009. Later number of visitors grew and in 2011 had the same number as 4 years ago had. Additionally, In 2012, 14 million people visited this museum. For the national gallery, in 2007 British museum and this museum had same annual visitors which increased slowly and in 2010 and 2012. 11 million citizens went there after a year had the highest number of holidaymakers among three historical places and throughout the period on account of roughly 16 million.
For Victoria and Albert museum, nearly 14 million people preferred this museum for visiting in 2007 and 2008. After that year, the sightseer number declined and touched its dip in 2010; it was the same as the national gallery number had in 2007, it rose, and the number of visitors was 10 million in 2012.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and capitals Original: For British museum Suggested revision: For the British Museum Why it matters: The museum's proper name requires the definite article and capital letters.
- 2. Restore sentence subject Original: in 2007 had 12 million travellers, and became half after a single year Suggested revision: there were 12 million visitors in 2007, and this figure halved the following year Why it matters: The original clause lacks a subject and uses an inaccurate expression for a numerical decrease.
- 3. Use data phrasing Original: remained the same number till 2009 Suggested revision: remained at the same level in 2009 Why it matters: A visitor figure remains at a level, and the chart only establishes the value for 2009.
- 4. Add article and order Original: Later number of visitors Suggested revision: The number of visitors then Why it matters: The noun phrase needs an article and then is the natural position for the sequence marker.
- 5. Clarify earlier comparison Original: in 2011 had the same number as 4 years ago had Suggested revision: in 2011 reached the same level as four years earlier Why it matters: This form removes the repeated verb and makes the time comparison grammatical.
- 6. Fix mid-sentence capital Original: In Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In should not be capitalized after the introductory adverb and comma.
- 7. Capitalize proper name Original: For the national gallery Suggested revision: For the National Gallery Why it matters: Both words in the institution's proper name require capital letters.
- 8. Correct 2007 comparison Original: in 2007 British museum and this museum had same annual visitors Suggested revision: it recorded about 6 million visitors in 2007 Why it matters: The chart shows about 6 million visitors for the National Gallery and about 12 million for the British Museum in 2007.
- 9. Complete the trend clause Original: which increased slowly and in 2010 and 2012 Suggested revision: and this figure increased, particularly in 2010 and 2012 Why it matters: The original relative clause is incomplete and does not clearly connect the years to the rise.
- 10. Complete museum name Original: For Victoria and Albert museum Suggested revision: For the Victoria and Albert Museum Why it matters: The proper name requires the definite article and capitalization.
- 11. Use direct visitor verb Original: preferred this museum for visiting Suggested revision: visited this museum Why it matters: The original wording is unnatural and adds an unsupported idea of preference.
- 12. Name the reference year Original: After that year Suggested revision: After 2008 Why it matters: Naming the year removes ambiguity because two preceding years are mentioned.
Suggested Rewrites
- For British museum For the British Museum
- in 2007 had 12 million travellers, and became half after a single year there were 12 million visitors in 2007, and this figure halved the following year
- remained the same number till 2009 remained at the same level in 2009
- Later number of visitors The number of visitors then
- in 2011 had the same number as 4 years ago had in 2011 reached the same level as four years earlier
- In in
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response reports several useful figures and broadly follows each museum across the period, with the British Museum and Victoria and Albert Museum sections containing substantial accurate detail. Its main limitation is an imprecise overview and a false claim that the British Museum and National Gallery had equal visitor numbers in 2007. The priority is to state the main trends accurately, then express each comparison in complete, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The task is addressed with several accurate figures, but the overview is weak and one major 2007 comparison is incorrect.
State the main trends accurately and check every cross-museum comparison against the chart before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The museum-based paragraphing is sensible, but progression within the National Gallery section becomes difficult to follow.
Present each museum's figures in chronological order and separate different comparisons into complete sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is some range, but frequent inappropriate substitutes for visitors and faulty collocations reduce precision.
Use accurate chart vocabulary such as 'visitors', 'figures', 'rose', 'fell', and 'fluctuated' consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in clauses, agreement, and verb forms often strain readability.
Build shorter complete sentences with explicit subjects and correct verb forms before combining ideas into longer structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.