The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 8)

Sample Response

1

The diagram provides a breakdown of how carbonated drinks are produced. Overall, the production of carbonated drinks involves raw water undergoing five distinct stages at which the water is cleaned, carbonated, mixed with other ingredients, packaged and eventually delivered to the general public.

2

The process commences when raw water from households flows throughin pipes through a filter and then into a water softener, where chemicals are addedto a device where it is filtered and softened by the use of chemicals. The clean water is thereafter pumped throughto electric heaters and passesgoes through a cooling pipe to a carbonation chamberanother device where the carbonation process takes place. During this process, carbon dioxide through a separate pipefrom another pipe is added to the water.

3

The carbonated water is then sent to a mixingcylindrical tank in which it is mixed with colouring, syrup, and flavouringflavours and filtered for the second time before being used to fill bottles and cansbeing filled into bottles and cans. At this stage of the process, the filled bottles and cans are packed into boxesfinished beverages are packaged into boxes and eventually dispatched to supermarkets.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The response gives a clear, accurate account of the full production sequence, with a well-focused overview and logically ordered stage details. Its main limitation is that the overview compresses the heating, cooling, filtering and filling operations into broader labels, so it is slightly less precise than the body. Prioritise naming the most important intermediate transformations explicitly while preserving the concise, controlled style.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

A clear overview identifies the five-stage sequence, and the body accurately covers every major operation from water cleaning to supermarket delivery.

Next step

Make the overview more precise by explicitly grouping heating and cooling with carbonation and filtering and filling with packaging.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

The response progresses logically through the process, and cohesive references connect the stages smoothly without becoming intrusive.

Next step

Keep stage references maximally exact so phrases such as ‘At this stage’ always point unambiguously to the operation being described.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

A wide, precise range of process vocabulary, including ‘filtered’, ‘carbonation’, ‘cylindrical tank’ and ‘dispatched’, is used naturally.

Next step

Refine the overview with more specific process terms instead of broad verbs such as ‘cleaned’ and ‘packaged’.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

Varied complex structures are handled accurately throughout, with strong control of passive forms and subordinate clauses.

Next step

Polish the opening overview clause so the relationship between the five stages and their individual functions is expressed even more directly.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Your response

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