The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.
Sample Response
The diagram shows the stages involved in the production of soft drink.
Overall, there are 5 stages in the process, beginning with preparing the water for the drinks, and culminating with the packaging and delivery of the finished product.
In the first stage of the process, water is put through a filter before a softener and other chemicals are added to it. Once the water has been processed, it is then pumped on to stage 2 where it undergoes evaporation and carbonation. During this stage, the water is heated and run through a cooling pipe before carbon dioxide is added, creating carbonated water.
In the third stage of the process, the carbonated water is put into a mixing tank where it is mixed with colouring, flavouring, and sweetener. The resulting mixture is then filtered before being packaged into cans and bottles. Finally, once the bottles and cans have been packaged into boxes, they are transported to supermarkets where they are ready to be sold.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the plural form Original: drink Suggested revision: drinks Why it matters: The process produces soft drinks as a general product category.
- 2. Spell out the number Original: 5 Suggested revision: five Why it matters: Spelling out this small number is more conventional in formal prose.
- 3. Name stage one accurately Original: preparing the water for the drinks Suggested revision: cleaning the raw water Why it matters: The first stage is specifically labelled water cleaning and begins with raw water.
- 4. Correct the movement phrase Original: pumped on to stage 2 Suggested revision: pumped to the second stage Why it matters: Pumped to is the correct construction for movement to the next stage.
- 5. Use a precise process verb Original: run Suggested revision: passed Why it matters: Passed through is more precise for water moving through the cooling pipe.
- 6. Use the diagram label Original: sweetener Suggested revision: syrup Why it matters: The mixing-stage input shown in the diagram is syrup.
- 7. Describe the filling stage Original: packaged Suggested revision: filled Why it matters: Stage four fills the filtered drink into containers; packaging occurs afterward.
- 8. Use the natural collocation Original: packaged Suggested revision: packed Why it matters: Packed into boxes is the natural wording for placing containers in cartons.
Suggested Rewrites
- drink drinks
- 5 five
- preparing the water for the drinks cleaning the raw water
- pumped on to stage 2 pumped to the second stage
- run passed
- sweetener syrup
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response accurately and efficiently explains the complete five-stage process, with a clear overview and a logical account from water cleaning through delivery. Language is varied and well controlled, and the sequencing remains easy to follow throughout. The main opportunity is finer technical precision, particularly matching the diagram's labels for syrup and the heating stage, while preserving the report's concise coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and accurately covers all five stages and the important transformations shown.
Match the diagram's exact inputs by referring to syrup alongside colouring and flavour, rather than using the broader term sweetener.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced naturally in cohesive paragraphs, with clear referencing and well-managed progression between stages.
For maximum transparency, identify filtering and filling explicitly as stage 4 before moving to packaging and transport.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of process vocabulary is used naturally, including processed, carbonation, resulting mixture, and transported.
Refine the opening noun phrase to the production of soft drinks and retain equally exact terminology throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are varied flexibly, with accurate passive forms and only negligible slips.
Maintain this high level of control while trimming minor redundancy such as processed followed immediately by then pumped.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.