The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000 in Someland.

Sample Response

1

The given bar graph compares the numbers of male and female fitness membersnumber of male and female fitness memberships from 1970 to 2000 in Someland. According to the data, initially there were more male fitness members than female membersthat of females but more female fitness members were recordedcould be observed in the remaining years except in 1995.

2

In the year 1970, there were 2000 male fitness members in Someland compared to about twice as many female membershalf of that female member and the figures were reversedthis scenario got completely reversed in 2000. In 1975, the number of female members doubledfemale members doubled and the number of male members nearly doubledso did the male members. From the year 1985 women fitness members increased as compared to men except in the year 1995 when the male membershipmemberships again was almost twice the number of female membersdoubled than the number of female memberships. Female fitness membership increased overWomen fitness members increased over the years with some fluctuations, peakinghighest being in 1985 and 1995 (more than 2500 members) and lowest in 1970 (1000 members). In the final year, the numbersIn the final year number of male and female fitness membersmembership decreased to a combined total of 3,000 memberswith the total of 3000 membership of whomamong which 2000 were female members.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response provides a broadly chronological account and includes several accurate figures, especially for the endpoints. Its main limitation is the inaccurate overview that women outnumbered men in all remaining years except 1995, since men were also higher in 1975 and 1980, alongside limited coverage of the male series. The highest-priority improvement is to verify the overview against every year and express comparisons with grammatically accurate forms.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

5.5
Scoring rule

Several figures and later-year comparisons are accurate, but the overview misstates the gender pattern and the male series is covered unevenly.

Next step

Revise the overview to show that men led in 1970, 1975, 1980, and 1995, while women led in 1985, 1990, and 2000.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The response follows a generally understandable chronological path, but some comparisons are crowded into long sentences and references are occasionally unclear.

Next step

Group the early and later years into separate comparison sequences with clearer sentence boundaries.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

There is enough vocabulary to describe changes and comparisons, but awkward collocations and repeated forms such as memberships weaken precision.

Next step

Use natural phrases such as membership figures, twice as many, and the number of female members.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

The writer attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in comparison forms, articles, agreement, and countable nouns reduce accuracy.

Next step

Practise comparative patterns such as twice as many as and check noun number and subject-verb agreement throughout.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000 in Someland.

Your response

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