The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
Sample Response
The bar chart gives information about the gender of teachers in six types of educational institutions in the UK in 2010. It shows what percentage of teachers was male and what percentage was female.
Women dominated the teaching profession in primary education, but less so at lower and upper secondary education. It was particularly true of nursery school, where the share of female teachers was above 95%. Similarly one-sided was the situation in primary school, where over 90% of teachers were also female.
At secondary and upper secondary level this pattern was less pronounced, where there were nearly equal proportions of male and female teachers. On the other hand, male teachers outnumbered female teachers in high-level education, where the proportion of men was twice that for women.
Overall, the higher the level of education, the more male teachers dominated, and the reverse occurred with respect to female teachers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural percentages Original: what percentage of teachers was male and what percentage was female Suggested revision: what percentages of teachers were male and female Why it matters: Two percentages are being compared, so the plural form and verb are required.
- 2. Clarify reference Original: It Suggested revision: This Why it matters: “This” clearly refers back to the preceding pattern, whereas “it” has no precise antecedent.
- 3. Use natural word order Original: Similarly one-sided was the situation Suggested revision: The situation was similarly one-sided Why it matters: Standard subject-verb order is clearer in this descriptive sentence.
- 4. State reverse trend Original: and the reverse occurred with respect to female teachers Suggested revision: while female representation decreased Why it matters: This expresses the contrasting trend directly and avoids a vague backward reference.
- 5. Sentence rewrite Original: Women dominated the teaching profession in primary education, but less so at lower and upper secondary education. Suggested revision: Women predominated in nursery/pre-school and primary school, but the gender gap narrowed at secondary school and college. Why it matters: The original uses category labels that do not match the six settings shown in the chart.
- 6. Sentence rewrite Original: At secondary and upper secondary level this pattern was less pronounced, where there were nearly equal proportions of male and female teachers. Suggested revision: At secondary school and college, the proportions of male and female teachers were nearly equal. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the faulty “where” clause and uses the chart’s correct category names.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: On the other hand, male teachers outnumbered female teachers in high-level education, where the proportion of men was twice that for women. Suggested revision: At private training institutes, men held a slight majority, whereas at universities they accounted for about 70% of teachers, more than twice the female share. Why it matters: The original merges two distinct categories and overgeneralises the size of the male majority.
- 8. Position overview earlier Suggested revision: Move this overview directly after the introduction so the main pattern guides the subsequent detail paragraphs. Why it matters: An earlier overview would make the progression from summary to supporting detail easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- what percentage of teachers was male and what percentage was female what percentages of teachers were male and female
- It This
- Similarly one-sided was the situation The situation was similarly one-sided
- and the reverse occurred with respect to female teachers while female representation decreased
- Women dominated the teaching profession in primary education, but less so at lower and upper secondary education. Women predominated in nursery/pre-school and primary school, but the gender gap narrowed at secondary school and college.
- At secondary and upper secondary level this pattern was less pronounced, where there were nearly equal proportions of male and female teachers. At secondary school and college, the proportions of male and female teachers were nearly equal.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is concise, clearly organised, and captures the central shift from female dominance in early education to male dominance at university. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes imprecise coverage: college and private training institute are not clearly identified, and upper secondary is not a chart category. Name all six settings accurately and support the middle-category comparisons with selected figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate descriptions of the strongest contrasts address the task well, but coverage of college and private training institute is vague or omitted and the response is marginally under length.
Identify every chart category correctly and add the roughly equal college split and slight male majority in private training institute.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear progression from introduction to female-dominated settings, balanced settings, male-dominated settings, and overview.
Make the middle-category grouping more explicit so that each comparison has an unambiguous chart label.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective language for proportions and contrasts, though high-level education and upper secondary are imprecise labels here.
Reuse the chart's exact category names while retaining the strong range of comparative expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with generally good control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Refine agreement and reference in phrases such as the percentage of teachers and this was particularly true.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.