The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The line graph shows the average monthly percentage change in the pricespercentage change in prices of copper, nickel and zinc during 2014, compared with the previous month.
Overall, nickel had the largest monthly change early in the year but weakened considerably over the period. Zinc experienced a prolonged downturn mid-year before recovering sharply from October. Copper fluctuated throughout. All three metals declined simultaneously in one month.
Nickel rose 6% in January, the highest among the three metals. It then fell sharply to a 3% decreasefell steadily to a 3% decline in June. After a brief recovery in July, it fell to -2%dropped a further 2% by October, then levelled off at a 1% rise for the rest of the year. Copper began at 2%, dipped to around -0.5% in May and Junedipped to a 1% fall in April and May, held at a 1% gain from July to September, fell to around 0.5% in October before rising in Novemberfell 1% in November, and ended with no change.
Zinc reached a 3% rise in February. Its figures then weakened gradually, turning negative in Juneturning negative from April and hitting a 1% decline in June. Zinc then remained steady at -0.5% from July to September before dipping to -1% in OctoberThis downward trend persisted until October, when a sharp turnaround began. Zinc then recorded consecutive gains, finishing at a 2% rise in December.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear structure with a well-developed overview highlighting the primary overall trends across the three metals. The report's key limitation stems from a few data misreadings, particularly regarding specific monthly percentages and dates for copper and zinc. To raise the writing standard, focus on precisely referencing complex line values and matching negative points directly to their corresponding months on the axis.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and major trends are highlighted, though some specific percentage figures and months contain data inaccuracies.
Cross-check key data points carefully against both axes to ensure every cited percentage and month aligns exactly with the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is logically organised into distinct paragraphs with smooth transitions and effective cohesive devices.
Maintain this logical grouping while ensuring comparative linkers clearly contrast similar movements across the different data series.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary related to trends and numerical changes is used flexibly and accurately throughout the response.
Continue using varied trend vocabulary while making sure prepositions of change precisely convey absolute figures versus relative movements.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and sophisticated with a high degree of grammatical accuracy and clear control.
Maintain this strong grammatical control by combining simple trend clauses into complex structures using participle phrases.