The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club.
Sample Response
The illustrations give the number of full-time male and female health-centre members in Miami and Florida throughout the year 2017 and outline the ratio of these members based on their gender and age. Overall, more malesmale were active health centre members than femalesthan that of females and just over half of them were between 21 andto 45 years old. As the bar chart implies, 500 females were active members of the health clubdifferent fitness clubs in Florida and Miami in January 2017 while their male counterparts were slightly higher in number. The membership figures formembership count to these gyms and health centres rose moderately through Aprilremained almost the same till April but afterwards stayed high from June to Septemberincreased rapidly between June and September. During this period, fitness centres in these two areas had more than 800 male membersactive male participants and slightly over 700 female members. The number of male health club members was consistently higherhad always been higher than that of females. From October until the end of the year, these clubs had fewerretained a fewer number of members and this number ranged from about 520 to 730varied from 500 to 700. According to the pie charts, more than half of the male members of these fitness clubs were between 21 to 45 years old while this was exactly 50% for women. Men aged over 65Over 65 years old men accounted for one-quarter of participantsone-quarter participants while it was 6% higher in the case of females. The remaining one-fifth of fitness club membersRemaining one-fifth fitness club members were from different other age groups.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and successfully identifies the consistently higher male membership and the dominant 21–45 age group. Its main limitation is precision: some monthly descriptions overgeneralise the data, and several awkward grammatical and lexical choices weaken an otherwise clear account. The highest-priority improvement is to make exact, selective comparisons between particular months while checking noun phrases and comparative structures for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and most key monthly and age-group features are reported, though some ranges and period descriptions are slightly inaccurate or overgeneralised.
Support the overview with more exact comparisons, especially the June-to-September values and the October figure for men.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from monthly membership to age profiles, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph limits structural clarity.
Separate the overview and the two visual components into distinct paragraphs while retaining the clear comparison sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but awkward combinations such as membership count to these gyms reduce precision.
Prefer natural data-reporting collocations such as membership rose, the number of members, and accounted for a quarter of participants.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences communicates the comparisons clearly, although article, plural, and comparative-form errors recur.
Proofread noun phrases and comparison structures, particularly forms such as more male members, fewer members, and men over 65.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.