The chart shows the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100 people in selected countries.
Sample Response
The bar graph gives the information about the individuals using mobile phones and landlines in different countries among hundred people.
It shows that the trend of using mobile phones is greater than the landline, but in Canada, US and Denmark, people use more landlines than mobile phones. In Italy, mobile phones are used by people at the maximum rate, but in Canada, it’s used least, but in Denmark near about 90% of people use a landline, and the least used is in Italy.
With the advance in technology, people use more mobiles in different countries have different proportions. In Italy, 90 people use mobile out of 100, which is the maximum rate. In Canadians used minimum rate of usage of mobiles about 37%. Sweden UK Denmark German and US people using mobile in descending order about 87, 84, above 80, above 70 and less than 50 respectively of 100 people.
Whereas landline usage shows different trends among different countries, its usage trend is so low. In Denmark, the maximum number of people is near about 90 out of 100, and in Italy, the lower number of people use about 43 use landlines. In Canada, the US, Germany, Sweden, landline usage range between 60 to 67, but UK people use about 57 out of 100 people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: gives the information Suggested revision: provides information Why it matters: The replacement is more natural and concise for describing a chart.
- 2. Describe the metric Original: individuals using mobile phones and landlines Suggested revision: numbers of mobile phones and landlines Why it matters: The chart counts phone subscriptions per 100 people rather than individuals using each service.
- 3. Use correct ratio Original: among hundred people Suggested revision: per 100 people Why it matters: The chart's unit is conventionally expressed with the preposition 'per'.
- 4. Name the measure Original: trend of using mobile phones Suggested revision: number of mobile phones Why it matters: The graph compares quantities rather than a trend over time.
- 5. Complete comparison Original: greater than the landline Suggested revision: higher than that of landlines Why it matters: The comparison needs a plural category and a reference word for the corresponding figure.
- 6. Correct unit and value Original: in Denmark near about 90% of people use a landline Suggested revision: Denmark has about 88 landlines per 100 people Why it matters: The visual reports roughly 88 landlines per 100 people, not a percentage of users.
- 7. Clarify the category Original: the least used is in Italy Suggested revision: the landline figure is lowest in Italy Why it matters: Naming the measure removes ambiguity about what is least used.
- 8. Remove unsupported cause Original: With the advance in technology, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The chart provides no evidence that technological advances caused the country differences.
- 9. Repair clause structure Original: people use more mobiles in different countries have different proportions Suggested revision: mobile-phone figures vary across countries Why it matters: The original joins two incompatible clause structures and obscures the intended comparison.
- 10. Report subscriptions accurately Original: 90 people use mobile out of 100 Suggested revision: there were 90 mobile phones per 100 people Why it matters: The bar represents the number of phones per 100 people rather than the number of users.
- 11. Repair country clause Original: In Canadians used minimum rate of usage of mobiles Suggested revision: In Canada, mobile-phone use was the lowest Why it matters: The original uses a nationality adjective as a place name and lacks a grammatical subject structure.
- 12. Use chart units Original: about 37% Suggested revision: about 38 per 100 people Why it matters: Canada's mobile-phone figure is approximately 38 and is not presented as a percentage.
Suggested Rewrites
- gives the information provides information
- individuals using mobile phones and landlines numbers of mobile phones and landlines
- among hundred people per 100 people
- trend of using mobile phones number of mobile phones
- greater than the landline higher than that of landlines
- in Denmark near about 90% of people use a landline Denmark has about 88 landlines per 100 people
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear overview and generally accurate selection of the highest and lowest figures across both services. Its main weakness is that frequent awkward sentence structures and imprecise phrasing sometimes obscure otherwise relevant comparisons. The highest priority is to present each comparison in a clean grammatical sentence while checking every reported figure and country grouping against the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the main cross-country pattern, and most maxima, minima, and values are selected accurately.
Check minor numerical groupings, such as Sweden’s landline figure, and make the comparisons more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically separated into overview, mobile-phone, and landline paragraphs, with broadly clear progression.
Replace long chains joined by repeated but and whereas with shorter sentences and clearer reference words.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of comparison vocabulary, though repetition and awkward collocations reduce precision.
Use natural data-reporting phrases such as stood at, was highest in, and exceeded rather than repeating use and usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, and sentence-structure errors weaken control.
Prioritise complete subject-verb structures and accurate plural forms before adding complex clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100 people in selected countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.