The picture below shows the museum’s plant in 1998 and after some changes were made in 2008.
Sample Response
The diagrams display a museum layout in 1998 compared to new construction in 2008 after some renovations.
Overall, it is immediately apparent that there have been a number of changes in the 2008 layout, ranging from the restaurants, cafes, garden, shops and so on.
To begin with, in 1998, there was no restaurant in the northeastern corner of the museum; however, in the new layout in 2008, there was an introduction of a restaurant, with an addition of a temporary exhibition room which used to be located at the southwestern part of the 1998 plan. The 2008 plan created a shop and a place to keep bags and coats in the southwest part of the museum.
Again, in the centre of the 1998 layout was a garden. However, in constructing the 2008 museum, the central part now occupies a garden, fountains and a cafe sitting area. The permanent exhibition room and the ticket entrance remain unchanged in both layouts.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe the redesign Original: compared to new construction in 2008 Suggested revision: and its redesigned layout in 2008 Why it matters: The replacement describes a changed museum plan more precisely than new construction.
- 2. Use past tense Original: there have been Suggested revision: there were Why it matters: Past simple is more consistent when summarising changes completed by 2008.
- 3. Avoid vague listing Original: ranging from the restaurants, cafes, garden, shops and so on Suggested revision: including the restaurant, café, garden, and shop Why it matters: The original list is imprecise, uses unnecessary plurals, and ends vaguely.
- 4. Correct the location Original: northeastern Suggested revision: northwestern Why it matters: The 2008 plan places the restaurant in the top-left, or northwestern, corner.
- 5. Use concise wording Original: the new layout in 2008 Suggested revision: the 2008 layout Why it matters: The shorter time phrase conveys the same meaning more naturally.
- 6. Use a direct passive Original: there was an introduction of a restaurant Suggested revision: a restaurant was introduced Why it matters: The direct passive construction is grammatically cleaner and more concise.
- 7. Fix the phrase Original: with an addition of Suggested revision: along with Why it matters: The original noun phrase uses the article and preposition unnaturally.
- 8. Clarify earlier location Original: which used to be located Suggested revision: which had previously been located Why it matters: Past perfect makes the room's earlier location clear relative to the 2008 changes.
- 9. Use correct preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: An area within the museum takes the preposition in rather than at.
- 10. Use a specific transition Original: Again Suggested revision: Turning to the central area Why it matters: The replacement signals the shift to a new part of the plan more clearly.
- 11. Remove dangling phrasing Original: However, in constructing the 2008 museum Suggested revision: However, in the 2008 layout Why it matters: The original participial phrase incorrectly implies that the central area constructed the museum.
- 12. Correct the relationship Original: the central part now occupies a garden Suggested revision: the garden now occupies a smaller central area Why it matters: The visual shows that the garden occupies the centre and was reduced in size.
Suggested Rewrites
- compared to new construction in 2008 and its redesigned layout in 2008
- there have been there were
- ranging from the restaurants, cafes, garden, shops and so on including the restaurant, café, garden, and shop
- northeastern northwestern
- the new layout in 2008 the 2008 layout
- there was an introduction of a restaurant a restaurant was introduced
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly structured and uses a reasonable range of language to describe several changes, including the new restaurant and the revised central garden. However, the overview is too general, the restaurant is placed in the wrong corner, and the account overlooks the major conversion of the western permanent exhibition area. Prioritise an accurate overview of the largest changes, then group and compare relocations systematically.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies several relevant changes, but its overview is vague and important map features are omitted or inaccurately located.
Highlight the conversion of the western exhibition space and accurately compare the relocated facilities, including the cafe, shop, cloakroom and toilets.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is easy to follow, although the grouping of changes is incomplete and links such as 'Again' are mechanical.
Organise the details by museum area or by unchanged, relocated and newly added facilities so comparisons progress more systematically.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe renovation and location, but awkward choices such as 'new construction' and 'the plan created' reduce precision.
Use precise map language such as 'was converted into', 'was relocated to' and 'remained in the same position'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is generally controlled, despite some cumbersome constructions and imprecise clause attachment.
Replace long noun-heavy phrases with direct active or passive clauses and check that each relative clause clearly modifies the intended facility.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The picture below shows the museum’s plant in 1998 and after some changes were made in 2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.