The table shows the number of people who took part in a national health survey between 2005 and 2009, answering questions about their sleeping habits.
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Sample Response
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The table presents the number of women and men from 2005 to 2009 that answered a nationalhealth survey about their sleeping habits.
Overall, it is clear that over the periodas the years went by, more and more people took part in the health surveyabout sleep. However, there was no consistent pattern in howthere seems to be no trend for why the gender distribution of participants was not always equal.
In 2005, only 8,0008000 people participated in the national health survey about sleeping habits. Three- fourths of the respondents were women, while only one-fourth or 2000 were men. A year later, the figures grew sixfold as 48,000 people answered the survey. In that year,But this time the majority of the participants were men (36,000), while only 12,000 women participatedgot involved. However, the following year, the distribution of participating men and women was equal, as 32,000 of each gender answered the questions.
The final two years showed a tremendous increase as the overall figures swelled in 2008 and 2009 to 362,000 and 540,000 respondents, respectively. In 2008, of the 362,000 people that answered thenational health survey, roughly 91% or 331,000 participants were women, while just 9% or 31,000 were men. By contrast, in 2009But in 2009, when the numbers grew to more than half a million, the figures for both men and women were the same at 270,000 respondents each.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response excels in providing a detailed and accurate analysis of the data, highlighting major trends and key statistical comparisons seamlessly. Paragraph structure and logical progression are maintained clearly throughout the task. To reach an even higher standard, refine minor word spacing issues and smooth out subtle phrasing choices in analytical observations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive overview of the overall trend alongside highly accurate descriptions and comparisons of data across all reported years.
Focus on highlighting broader comparative patterns alongside individual year-by-year details to make the analysis even more concise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across well-defined paragraphs, with clear dynamic links and smooth transitions between time points.
Ensure cohesive devices and sequence markers vary naturally without overly relying on chronological connectors like 'however' or 'the following year'.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible range of vocabulary is demonstrated through effective proportional language, accurate statistical terms, and skillful paraphrasing.
Avoid minor spacing errors in combined words to ensure flawless lexical presentation throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The candidate employs a diverse variety of complex sentence structures with consistently high grammatical accuracy and precise punctuation.
Maintain this high standard of grammatical control while experimenting with advanced passive structures to report figures even more flexibly.