The table shows the number of people who took part in a national health survey between 2005 and 2009, answering questions about their sleeping habits.
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Sample Response
The table illustrates the numbershows the numbers of men and women who participated in a national health surveynational survey about sleeping habits between 2005 and 2009.
Overall, the total number of participants increased considerably throughout the period, reaching its highest level in 2009. MeanwhileHowever, the figures for men and women followed different patterns, with female participation peaking in 2008 and male participation rising sharply in the final year.
In 2005, a total of 8,000 people took part in the survey, including 6,000 women and 2,000 men. The following year, the total rose to 48,000, with men accounting for 36,000 participants, which was three times thatthree times the number of women. In 2007, the figures for both sexesgenders were equal at 32,000 each, bringing the total to 64,000.
A particularly noticeable change occurred in 2008, when the number of female participants increased substantiallydramatically to 331,000, while the figure for men fell slightly to 31,000. As a result, women made up the vast majority of the 362,000 respondents that year. In 2009,By 2009, however, female participation had declined to 270,000, whereas the number of male participants had risen sharply to the same level. Consequently, the total reached a peak of 540,000.
Why this response received Band 9.0
The essay presents an exceptionally clear overview and accurately details every data point from the table with sophisticated comparisons. Paragraphing and cohesive devices flow seamlessly, supporting logical progression across the entire timeline. Vocabulary and grammatical structures are exceptionally varied, precise, and entirely error-free throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully satisfies all requirements of the prompt by delivering a clear overview and highlighting key trends and comparative figures with perfect accuracy.
Maintain this high level of precision and clarity by continuing to select key data highlights efficiently.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is logically organized chronologically with smooth paragraphing and seamless use of transitions throughout.
Continue using natural paragraphing structures and cohesive devices to maintain an intuitive flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary and trend-describing language is used with natural flexibility and precision.
Keep building on flexible, context-appropriate phrasing to describe complex visual trends effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The report demonstrates complete control over a wide variety of simple, compound, and complex sentence structures without grammatical errors.
Sustain this consistent grammatical accuracy and structural variety across diverse visual task types.