The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, 2010. Degrees Granted at the National University.
Sample Response
Three pie charts provided show academic records in 1990, 2000 and 2010 about the degrees that were granted in different fields at the National University. There were four majors given in those particular years - Computer Science, Medicine, Business and Law. In 1990, Computer Science and Business graduates were equally granted, which were 30% for both programmes. In this year 25% of graduates from National University were from Medicine and 15% from the faculty of Law. In the following years, both in 2000 and 2010, Computer Science graduates increases steadily and their percentage increased to 40% in 2000 and 45% in 2010. Unfortunately, business faculty graduates dropped by 10% in 2000 and this decline was 5% for Law graduates. However, Medicine faculty graduates increased by 5% in 2000 but again went back to 25% in the year 2010. As the data depicts, Computer Science became more popular over time and the highest percentage of graduates were granted in the given years from this major. Law and Medicine faculty remained almost the same in terms of granting of graduation degree, but the popularity and percentages of graduation from Business department decreased over time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix opening noun phrase Original: Three pie charts provided Suggested revision: The three pie charts Why it matters: The definite article is required, while provided is unnecessary in this position.
- 2. Name chart measure Original: academic records Suggested revision: proportions of degrees granted Why it matters: The charts show percentage shares of degrees, not general academic records.
- 3. Use chart categories Original: four majors given Suggested revision: four fields shown Why it matters: Fields matches the task wording and shown is the natural chart verb.
- 4. Introduce the list Original: those particular years - Suggested revision: the three years: Why it matters: A colon correctly introduces the list of four fields.
- 5. Use clear time reference Original: this Suggested revision: that Why it matters: That year refers back to 1990 more naturally.
- 6. Describe degrees accurately Original: graduates from National University were from Medicine Suggested revision: degrees awarded by the National University were in medicine Why it matters: The charts categorize degrees by field rather than graduates by origin.
- 7. Use consistent field name Original: faculty of Law Suggested revision: field of law Why it matters: Field of law parallels the chart's other degree categories.
- 8. Remove personal judgement Original: Unfortunately Suggested revision: By 2000 Why it matters: The neutral time marker is appropriate for objective chart reporting.
- 9. State point decrease Original: business faculty graduates dropped by 10% Suggested revision: the share of business degrees fell by 10 percentage points Why it matters: The chart shows the percentage share falling from 30% to 20%, not the number of graduates.
- 10. Use percentage points Original: this decline was 5% Suggested revision: the fall was 5 percentage points Why it matters: Law decreased from 15% to 10%, a change of five percentage points.
- 11. Describe medicine share Original: Medicine faculty graduates increased by 5% Suggested revision: the share of medicine degrees rose by 5 percentage points Why it matters: The plotted measure is the proportion of degrees, which rose from 25% to 30%.
- 12. Use concise trend verb Original: went back to 25% Suggested revision: returned to 25% Why it matters: Returned is the concise formal verb for the recovery to the earlier value.
Suggested Rewrites
- Three pie charts provided The three pie charts
- academic records proportions of degrees granted
- four majors given four fields shown
- those particular years - the three years:
- this that
- graduates from National University were from Medicine degrees awarded by the National University were in medicine
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response accurately reports the percentages and changes for all four fields, with a useful summary of computer science's rise and business's decline. The main weakness is expression: recurring errors in verb forms, agreement, and collocations make several sentences awkward, while the overview arrives only at the end. Prioritise a clear early overview and describe shares of degrees directly rather than saying graduates or percentages were granted.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major trends and figures are accurately covered, including the rise in computer science and the decline in business.
Clarify in the overview that computer science was tied with business in 1990 before becoming the largest field in 2000 and 2010.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a coherent chronological sequence and ends with a relevant summary, but all content is compressed into one paragraph.
Place the overview immediately after the introduction and use separate detail paragraphs for rising and stable or declining fields.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to describe changes, but repeated awkward combinations involving graduates, faculties, and degrees reduce precision.
Use forms such as 'degrees in computer science accounted for 40%' and 'business's share fell by 10 percentage points'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The meaning remains understandable, but subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, noun phrases, and relative clauses contain frequent errors.
Correct phrases such as 'the proportion increased', 'both fields accounted for 30%', and 'law and medicine remained broadly stable'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, 2010. Degrees Granted at the National University.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.