The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
Sample Response
The graph shows changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand since 1901, and forecasts trends tip until 2101.
Between 1901 and the present day, the birth rate has been consistently higher than the death rate. It stood at 20,000 at the start of this period and increased to a peak of 66,000 in 1961. Since then the rate has fluctuated between 65 and 50 thousand and it is expected to decline slowly to around 45,000 births by the end of the century.
In contrast, the death rate started below 10,000 and has increased steadily until the present time. This increase is expected to be more rapid between 2021 and 2051 when the rate will probably level off at around 60,000, before dropping slightly in 2101.
Overall, these opposing trends mean that the death rate will probably overtake the birth rate in around 2041 and the large gap between the two levels will be reversed in the later part of this century.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Order the range Original: between 65 and 50 thousand Suggested revision: between 50,000 and 65,000 Why it matters: Numerical ranges are normally presented from the lower value to the higher value.
- 2. Correct final births Original: 45,000 births Suggested revision: about 42,000 births Why it matters: The birth line ends close to 42,000 in 2101, below the figure stated.
- 3. Name the cutoff year Original: until the present time Suggested revision: to 2021 Why it matters: The graph indicates the historical-to-projected transition around 2021, so a year is more precise.
- 4. Correct growth period Original: 2051 Suggested revision: 2061 Why it matters: The projected death rate continues rising rapidly until its high point around 2061.
- 5. Describe the peak Original: level off at around 60,000 Suggested revision: peak at about 59,000 Why it matters: The death line reaches a high point around 2061 before easing rather than becoming fully flat.
- 6. Give final value Original: before dropping slightly in 2101 Suggested revision: before declining slightly to about 56,000 by 2101 Why it matters: The visual shows a gradual decline from the peak to roughly 56,000 at the endpoint.
- 7. Remove extra preposition Original: in around 2041 Suggested revision: around 2041 Why it matters: The approximate-time preposition 'around' does not need 'in' before it.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The graph shows changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand since 1901, and forecasts trends tip until 2101. Suggested revision: The graph shows changes in New Zealand's birth and death rates from 1901 to 2101, including forecasts up to 2101. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the typing error and states the historical and forecast time span clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- between 65 and 50 thousand between 50,000 and 65,000
- 45,000 births about 42,000 births
- until the present time to 2021
- 2051 2061
- level off at around 60,000 peak at about 59,000
- before dropping slightly in 2101 before declining slightly to about 56,000 by 2101
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-selected account of both series, with an effective overview highlighting the eventual crossover and reversal of the initial gap. Its main limitation is minor imprecision in a few projected endpoints and some slightly awkward wording, but these do not impede understanding. To improve further, verify final values more exactly and refine isolated expressions while retaining the concise comparative structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately selects the major historical and projected trends, including the peak, crossover, and later reversal.
Refine the final projected figures, especially the birth rate near 2101, so every endpoint matches the graph as precisely as the main trends do.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from births to deaths and then to a concise synthesis, with cohesive devices used clearly and unobtrusively.
Keep this structure while making the time boundaries between historical data and projections even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of trend and comparison vocabulary conveys the data effectively, with only isolated awkward wording.
Replace the stray phrase trends tip until with a natural expression such as projected trends up to 2101 and retain the same lexical precision elsewhere.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, and the few minor slips do not affect clarity.
Polish isolated phrasing and number expressions, such as between 50,000 and 65,000, to make an already accurate response fully natural.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.