The line graph shows the past and projected finances for a local authority in New Zealand.
Sample Response
The line chart compares the millions of dollar of four different finances for a native dominance from the past and make an estimated outcome in New Zealand over a period of 10 years from 2012 to 2022 and projected year in 2030.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the line graph that increases and decreases as millions of dollars from the four several categories and keeps predictions of the upward trend observed in the two major departments are rates revenue and user charges.
At the beginning of the period, in 2012, the rates revenue accounted for nearly $1400 million whereas this trend climbed upwards and finances reached with shares $2000 million in 2020 and this revenue would be surged up at above $500 million in the ending financial year of 2030. However, the term of user charges follows the same trend as rates revenue with shares of $1000 million. Over the next five years, the funds for local regimes crossed the barrier, which accounted for $1500 million and skyrocketed would be assumed to approximately more than $2000 million in the ending year of June 30.
Furthermore, borrowings are the most fluctuated finance department for authority in New Zealand which accounted at below $1000 million in 2012 and slightly got inclined by $100- $200 million after two years but drastically plummeted at $600 million and went in free fall for next six years and reached $800 million in 2022 and projected would be the same value on June 30. It s interesting to note that grants and subsidies have the least number of finances in New Zealand, with a low value at $400 million and remaining unchanged until 2015 with shares of $700 million and a predicted $500 million after eight years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use value-reporting verb Original: rates revenue accounted for Suggested revision: rates revenue stood at Why it matters: Stood at is appropriate for reporting a value, whereas accounted for normally introduces a proportion.
- 2. Repair the value phrase Original: finances reached with shares $2000 million Suggested revision: it reached about $2,000 million Why it matters: The replacement supplies a clear subject and the correct structure for reporting the figure.
- 3. Correct year and value Original: this revenue would be surged up at above $500 million in the ending financial year of 2030 Suggested revision: this figure then rose to about $2,350 million in 2022 Why it matters: The graph ends in 2022 with rates revenue at roughly $2,350 million, not in 2030.
- 4. Remove unnecessary wording Original: the term of user charges Suggested revision: user charges Why it matters: The term of is meaningless in this reference to the named series.
- 5. Report the starting value Original: with shares of $1000 million Suggested revision: at $1,000 million Why it matters: At is the correct preposition for stating the value of a line on a graph.
- 6. Name the correct series Original: funds for local regimes Suggested revision: figure for user charges Why it matters: This sentence continues the user-charges trend, so the series should be named accurately.
- 7. State the value directly Original: crossed the barrier, which accounted for $1500 million Suggested revision: rose to about $1,500 million Why it matters: The graph shows a gradual rise to this level rather than the unclear action of crossing a barrier.
- 8. Correct the trend phrase Original: skyrocketed would be assumed to approximately more than $2000 million Suggested revision: then reached approximately $2,000 million Why it matters: The replacement removes incompatible verb forms and the contradictory modifiers approximately and more than.
- 9. Identify the endpoint Original: ending year of June 30 Suggested revision: final year shown Why it matters: June 30 describes the financial year-end convention on the axis, not a particular final year.
- 10. Describe variability accurately Original: most fluctuated finance department Suggested revision: most variable source of finance Why it matters: Variable is the correct adjective and source of finance accurately names the category.
- 11. Correct value construction Original: accounted Suggested revision: stood Why it matters: Stood at correctly introduces an approximate graph value.
- 12. Use a trend verb Original: slightly got inclined Suggested revision: rose slightly Why it matters: Rose slightly is the standard expression for a small upward movement.
Suggested Rewrites
- rates revenue accounted for rates revenue stood at
- finances reached with shares $2000 million it reached about $2,000 million
- this revenue would be surged up at above $500 million in the ending financial year of 2030 this figure then rose to about $2,350 million in 2022
- the term of user charges user charges
- with shares of $1000 million at $1,000 million
- funds for local regimes figure for user charges
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response addresses all four financial streams and groups the two steadily rising sources separately from the more variable ones. However, it misreads the chart’s time frame, repeatedly invents 2030, and reports several trends and figures inaccurately, while convoluted wording often obscures the comparisons. The main priority is to read the axes precisely and build each paragraph around a small number of accurate start, peak, and end values.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All four series are mentioned and the two principal upward trends are recognized, but the overview is incomplete and numerous years, values, and movements are inaccurate.
Use 2012–2022 as the displayed period and accurately highlight the steady rises in rates and user charges, the 2020 borrowing peak, and the later fall in grants.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an introduction, overview, and grouped detail paragraphs, but very long sentences and unclear reference chains disrupt progression.
Organize the details by trend and use shorter sentences that compare no more than two clearly named series at a time.
Lexical Resource
Some trend vocabulary is attempted, but frequent unsuitable collocations such as ‘native dominance,’ ‘shares,’ and ‘finance department’ make descriptions imprecise.
Use conventional chart language such as ‘local authority,’ ‘revenue source,’ ‘rose steadily,’ ‘peaked at,’ and ‘fell to.’
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, prepositions, and clause construction are frequent and sometimes impede meaning.
Build accurate subject-verb-value sentences first, then add controlled comparison clauses instead of stacking multiple faulty structures together.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph shows the past and projected finances for a local authority in New Zealand.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.